Why Following God Feels So Hard (And What Actually Changes Everything)

Meta Description: Discover why the Christian life feels like a burden—and how the new birth changes everything. A fresh look at 1 John 5 that might surprise you. URL Slug: why-following-god-feels-hard-new-birth-1-john-5 Featured Image: A person standing at the edge of the ocean at sunrise, looking out at the horizon—evoking the contrast between mud pies in a slum and a holiday at sea.

Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, Is this person living in the real world? That's exactly where I found myself when I kept coming back to one verse in 1 John 5.

The Verse That Tripped Me Up

A while back, I decided to read 1 John every day for 30 days. Five chapters, over and over. And here's what I discovered: it's not hard to understand. It's actually pretty repetitive—love God, love your neighbor, love God, love your neighbor. Good stuff. But there was one verse I could not get a hold of, no matter how many times I read it.

It's 1 John 5:3, where John writes: "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome."

Not burdensome. I'd read that and immediately feel like something was desperately wrong with me.

We've all been there. Sunday morning, we're fired up. The word lands, we're ready to love our neighbors, serve our communities, live differently. Then Tuesday rolls around, and that commandment that felt like wind in our sails on Sunday feels like an anchor in the pit of our stomach. So what gives? Is John just an idealist? Is he selling us something that doesn't work in real life?

I don't think so. And here's why.

John Knows Exactly How Hard It Is

Before we write John off as out of touch, look at what he writes in 1 John 2:15-16: "Do not love the world or the things in the world... For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world."

John isn't naive. He fully acknowledges that the power of the world is pitted against us. He knows the pull is real. And yet he still writes that God's commands are not burdensome. How can both be true?

The answer is found in a phrase John uses over and over throughout this letter: born of God.

What Being "Born Again" Actually Means

In John's Gospel, chapter 3, a man named Nicodemus comes to Jesus at night. And here's what's striking: if anyone looked like they had it together spiritually, it was Nicodemus. He knew the Scriptures, he prayed, he fasted, he was deeply respected. And Jesus looks this deeply moral, deeply religious man in the eyes and says, "You must be born again."

Jesus is dismantling the idea that the new birth is just about becoming better—turning over a new leaf, cleaning up your act, trying harder. Nicodemus had religion, morality, and biblical knowledge. What he didn't have was new life.

Being born again isn't about going from bad to good. It's about God making you new.

Think about it this way: a baby doesn't decide when it's born. Birth happens to the baby. The new birth works the same way—it comes top-down, not bottom-up. It's a fresh start brought on by the Spirit of God, not a gym membership we sign up for in January.

The Lie That's Making You Miserable

Here's a lie I think many of us have believed at some point: Christianity can give you salvation, but only the world can give you pleasure.

We treat Christianity like the spare tire in our trunk. We don't go to the ER to have a good time—we have a good time out here, and the ER will be there if we need it. But that lie will destroy your soul.

C.S. Lewis put it brilliantly: "It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us. Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea, we are far too easily pleased."

The problem isn't that we desire too much. It's that we settle for too little.

The world has made you a promise it can never keep. And because we believe that promise, we keep chasing satisfaction in things that will always disappoint us. Then, because we're Christians, we draw a line at some point and say no—and we end up feeling like Christianity is just a religion of no. A religion of no fun, no enjoyment, no pleasure. And we wonder why it feels like such a burden.

John is screaming at us: That is not what I intended for you.

How We Actually Overcome the World

Here's what the new birth does: it doesn't just make you new—it wakes you up out of the illusion.

You wake up in the slum, covered in mud, and you go, What am I doing here? The things you were looking for pleasure and satisfaction in—you begin to see them for what they really are. They were never going to give you what you were looking for.

That's exactly what 1 John 5:4 promises: "For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith."

And here's the key: you don't overcome the world by willpower or grit. You overcome the world when God wakes you up out of the nightmare.

The burden of God's commands isn't lifted by lowering his standards. It's lifted because he gives you a new heart—one that can look to Christ in faith and genuinely see his way as better than the mud pies. As the old hymn says, the things of this world grow strangely dim.

David understood this. In Psalm 119, he writes something that sounds almost bizarre: "My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times." That's not a man white-knuckling his way through obedience. That's a man who has been woken up.

A Word for Where You Are This Morning

Maybe you're reading this feeling overcome by the world—discouraged, burdened, like the Christian life is just too hard. Jesus has an amazing offer for you: you can overcome the world. Not by trying harder. By faith in him, and through the new life only he can give.

Or maybe you've been a Christian for a long time, but something has shifted. The honeymoon phase has worn off, and the lies of the world are getting louder. My encouragement to you is this: remember your birthright. You've been born into a new family. You are a son. You are a daughter. You have a heritage.

What you need isn't more effort. You need a revitalization of faith—fresh eyes to see Christ as better than anything the world has ever offered.

Playing with mud was never that fun. There's a holiday at sea waiting for you.

I'd love for you to watch the full message from this past Sunday—it goes even deeper into 1 John 5. And if you want to keep exploring these ideas with others, reach out about joining one of our small groups. These are the kinds of conversations that change us.

Social Media Excerpt (Facebook/Instagram): Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, "Is this person living in the real world?" That's exactly how I felt about 1 John 5:3—"His commandments are not burdensome." This week I'm unpacking why following God feels so hard, and what the new birth actually changes. You might be surprised by the answer. 👇

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