This small group discussion guide draws directly from the sermon “Showcase - 9AM Worship Service” so you can keep engaging with the message all week. Read, reflect, and share it with your small group or friends.

Small Group Discussion Guide

"Out of Oil: A Spiritual Lesson from a Fool"

Based on the Women's Day Sermon by First Lady Elizabeth Lutter

Matthew 25:1-13 | Psalm 14:1-3

"Therefore, be alert, because you don't know either the day or the hour." — Matthew 25:13

📋 OVERVIEW

In this powerful Women's Day message, First Lady Elizabeth Lutter drew from the Parable of the Ten Virgins to challenge us about spiritual readiness. Using Psalm 14's portrait of the fool — someone who lives as though God does not exist — she identified five ways we can unknowingly say "there is no God" through our everyday actions, reactions, and choices. The central call of the message is both urgent and hopeful: the door is still open, God still knows your name, and it is not too late to get your house in order.

⏱️ TIME AT A GLANCE

Section	Estimated Time
Icebreaker	5–10 minutes
Scripture Reading	5 minutes
Discussion Questions	30–45 minutes
Personal Application	10–15 minutes
Prayer Focus	5–10 minutes
Total	55–85 minutes

Optional Deep Dive questions are available if your group has additional time or wants to go further.

🔥 ICEBREAKER (5–10 minutes)

Choose one of the following to open your time together:

Option A (lighter, fun):

"What's one thing you've let 'run out' recently — whether it was gas in your car, your phone battery, groceries, or something else — and what happened as a result?"

Option B (more reflective):

"When you were growing up, was there a phrase a parent, grandparent, or mentor used to say to you that has stuck with you? Share it with the group."

[Leader Tip: These questions help people ease into conversation before going deeper. Don't rush this time — laughter and light sharing build the trust needed for the harder questions ahead. If the group is new or quiet, share your own answer first to model vulnerability.]

📖 SCRIPTURE READING (5 minutes)

Have someone read each passage aloud. Invite the group to listen for a word or phrase that stands out to them.

Passage 1: Psalm 14:1-3 (The Fool)

"The fool says in his heart, 'God does not exist.' They are corrupt; they do vile deeds. There is no one who does good. The Lord looks down from heaven on the human race to see if there is one who is wise, one who seeks God. All have turned away; all alike have become corrupt. There is no one who does good, not even one." — Psalm 14:1-3

Passage 2: Matthew 25:1-13 (The Ten Virgins)

"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the groom. Five of them were foolish and five were sensible. When the foolish took their lamps, they didn't take olive oil with them. But the sensible ones took oil in their flasks with their lamps. Since the groom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. In the middle of the night there was a shout: 'Here's the groom! Come out to meet him.' Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. But the foolish ones said to the sensible ones, 'Give us some of your oil, because our lamps are going out.' The sensible ones answered, 'No, there won't be enough for us and for you. Go instead to those who sell, and buy oil for yourselves.' When they had gone to buy some, the groom arrived. Then those who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet, and the door was shut. Later the rest of the virgins also came and said, 'Master, master, open up for us!' But he replied, 'Truly I tell you, I don't know you!' Therefore be alert, because you don't know either the day or the hour." — Matthew 25:1-13

Quick Context Note for Leaders: In Jesus's time, wedding celebrations could last for days. Bridesmaids (virgins) were expected to meet the groom with lit lamps as part of the procession — being unprepared was a serious social failure. Jesus uses this familiar image to describe spiritual readiness for his return. The oil in the lamps is widely understood to represent a genuine, personal relationship with God — something that cannot be borrowed or transferred from someone else.

💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (30–45 minutes)

Work through as many questions as time allows. You don't need to cover every question — choose the ones that best fit your group. Questions are arranged from observational to personal to application.

THEME 1: Understanding the Fool (~10 minutes)

1. What was the most memorable or surprising thing from Sunday's message? What stayed with you after you left church?

[Leader Tip: This is a safe, open first question. It invites people to share without pressure and helps you gauge what resonated most with your group. Affirm every response before moving on.]

2. First Lady Lutter pointed out that the "fool" in Psalm 14 isn't simply someone who is ignorant — it's someone who may have great understanding but still lives as if God doesn't exist. How does that change the way you think about what it means to be a "fool" in the biblical sense?

Follow-up if discussion stalls: "Is it possible to believe in God mentally but still live practically as if he doesn't exist? What might that look like?"

3. In the parable, all ten virgins knew the groom was coming. All ten had lamps. All ten fell asleep waiting. What do you think is the key difference between the wise and the foolish ones — and why does that difference matter so much?

[Leader Tip: Help the group see that the difference wasn't effort or intention — both groups wanted to be ready. The difference was preparation. This can lead to a rich conversation about the difference between wanting to be ready and actually being ready.]

THEME 2: Five Ways We Say "There Is No God" (~15 minutes)

First Lady Lutter identified five specific ways we can live as practical atheists — people who say they believe in God but whose daily lives tell a different story. Let's look at each one briefly.

4. She said we say "there is no God" through what we say and do — treating God as if he is not watching or present. She also said, "You cannot get spiritual oil in secular places." What do you think she meant by that? Where do you tend to go — or what do you tend to do — when you need to be refilled spiritually?

5. She said we say "there is no God" by how we react in a crisis. She shared that God challenged her to stop bracing herself when hard things come and start embracing them. What is the difference between bracing and embracing a crisis? Which one comes more naturally to you, and why?

[Leader Tip: This question can open up honest conversation about fear, control, and trust. Be prepared for some vulnerability here. If someone shares a current struggle, pause and acknowledge it before moving to the next question. You don't have to fix it — just honor it.]

6. She said we say "there is no God" by how we respond when God says no to our prayers — acting as if God doesn't have the right to make decisions about our lives. Can you think of a time when God said no to something you really wanted? Looking back, how did you respond — and what did you learn from that experience?

Follow-up: "How does trusting God's sovereignty change the way we pray?"

7. She said we say "there is no God" by how we are living — that our lives can send a message to our family and friends that either Jesus is coming back or that he isn't. Who in your life is watching how you live? What message do you think your daily life is currently sending them?

THEME 3: The Door, the Name, and the Choice (~10 minutes)

8. First Lady Lutter shared that one of her most powerful moments was sitting at Billy Graham's breakfast table and hearing him say, "Don't bring two books — bring three. I want Elizabeth to have her own." He had only just met her, but he knew her name. She connected this to Jesus knowing our names. What does it mean to you personally that God knows your name — not just knows of you, but truly knows you?

9. She said, "You cannot borrow salvation." The foolish bridesmaids tried to get oil from the wise ones, but it couldn't be shared. What are some ways people today try to "borrow" someone else's faith — relying on a parent's belief, a spouse's relationship with God, or a church membership — rather than cultivating their own? Why doesn't that work in the long run?

[Leader Tip: Handle this question with grace. Many people in your group may have grown up in faith communities where they absorbed their family's beliefs without developing their own. This isn't a shaming question — it's an invitation to examine where their faith actually stands today. Affirm that it's never too late to make it personal.]

10. At the end of her message, First Lady Lutter came down from the pulpit and stood with her daughter-in-law as an act of surrender — publicly declaring, "We are saying with our lives that there IS a God." She invited others to join her. What would it look like for you to make that same kind of declaration this week — not necessarily publicly, but in a concrete, personal way?

🪞 PERSONAL APPLICATION (10–15 minutes)

These questions are for quieter, more personal reflection. You may want to give people 2-3 minutes to think or journal silently before sharing.

Reflect on the five ways First Lady Lutter said we can live as if there is no God:

What we say and do (treating God as if he cannot see us)

Where we go and what we participate in (treating God as if he doesn't know)

How we react in a crisis (treating God as if he has no power)

How we respond when God says no (treating God as if he has no right)

How we are living (acting as if he is not coming back)

A. Which of these five areas feels most personal or most convicting to you right now? You don't have to share if you're not comfortable — but take a moment to be honest with yourself.

B. First Lady Lutter described 90 days of the Holy Spirit convicting her, saying, "You are acting like the fool." She didn't call it punishment — she called it being "purged" and prepared. Is there an area of your life where you sense God has been quietly nudging you, preparing you for something? What has that been like?

C. She said the door is still open. If you knew the door would close soon — on a relationship, on an opportunity to share your faith, on a season of your life — what would you do differently starting this week?

✅ THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose at least one of the following before your group meets again:

🛢️ Oil Check: Spend 15 minutes this week honestly asking yourself, "Where am I running low spiritually?" Identify one practice — prayer, scripture, worship, community — that you will commit to this week to refill.
📖 Read the Full Chapter: Read all of Matthew 25 on your own. Notice the three stories Jesus tells about readiness. Journal one thing that stands out from each story.
💬 Say It Out Loud: Identify one person in your life who needs to know that God knows their name. This week, have a real conversation with them — not a lecture, just a genuine, caring conversation about faith.
🙏 Surrender Something: Identify one area where you have been "bracing" instead of "embracing" — a fear, a worry, a situation you've been trying to control. Write it down, pray over it, and consciously release it to God.

🙏 PRAYER FOCUS (5–10 minutes)

Close your time together in prayer. You can pray as a group, in pairs, or have one person lead. Use these suggested topics to guide your prayer:

Gratitude — Thank God that the door is still open and that he knows each of our names.
Honesty — Ask God to reveal the areas of your life where you have been living as if he doesn't exist — through your words, habits, reactions, or choices.
Readiness — Pray for the courage and discipline to stay spiritually filled — to keep oil in your lamp through consistent time with God.
Others — Pray by name for people in your life who don't yet know that God knows their name. Ask God to use you as a witness in their lives.
Surrender — Invite the Holy Spirit to do in your group what he did in that sanctuary — to bring people to a place of genuine surrender and renewed commitment.

[Leader Tip: If your group is comfortable with it, consider ending with a time of open prayer where anyone can pray aloud. If your group is quieter, you can close with a simple prayer yourself, incorporating the themes above. Either way, don't rush this time — it's often where the real transformation happens.]

🔍 OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For groups with extra time or who want to explore further:

Deep Dive 1: The Two Kinds of Fools

First Lady Lutter mentioned that the Bible describes two kinds of fools: those who lack understanding, and those who have great understanding but still choose foolishness. Read Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 14:16, and Luke 12:16-21 (the Parable of the Rich Fool).

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." — Proverbs 1:7

"A wise person is cautious and turns from evil, but a fool is easily angered and is careless." — Proverbs 14:16

"Then he told them a parable: 'A rich man's land was very productive. He thought to himself, "What should I do, since I don't have anywhere to store my crops? I will do this," he said. "I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones and store all my grain and my goods there. Then I'll say to myself, 'You have many goods stored up for many years. Take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.'" But God said to him, "You fool! This very night your life is demanded of you. And the things you have prepared — whose will they be?" That's how it is with the one who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God." — Luke 12:16-21

What do these passages have in common with the Parable of the Ten Virgins?
What does it mean to be "rich toward God" rather than just rich in the things of this world?
How does spiritual wealth differ from material wealth — and how do you invest in it?

Deep Dive 2: Walking with the Wise

First Lady Lutter asked a pointed question: "Why do we walk with foolish women when we have the privilege to walk with the wise?" She referenced Ephesians 5:15-18 and Amos 3:3.

"Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk — not as unwise people but as wise — making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. And don't get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit." — Ephesians 5:15-18

"Can two walk together without agreeing to meet?" — Amos 3:3

Who are the "wise women" (or wise people) in your life right now? How did those relationships form?
What does it look like practically to be intentional about who you walk closely with?
Are there relationships in your life that are pulling you away from God rather than toward him? How do you handle that with grace and wisdom?

Deep Dive 3: He Knows Your Name

First Lady Lutter shared two powerful stories about being known by name — by Billy Graham and by Jesus himself. She connected this to her fear that after all the singing, preaching, and church attendance, God might still say, "I don't know you." Read John 10:14-15 and Revelation 3:5.

"I am the good shepherd. I know my own, and my own know me, just as the Father knows me, and I know the Father. I lay down my life for the sheep." — John 10:14-15

"In the same way, the one who conquers will be dressed in white clothes, and I will never erase his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and before his angels." — Revelation 3:5

What is the difference between knowing about God and actually knowing God — and how does someone move from one to the other?
What does it mean to you that Jesus says he knows his own — not just knows their names, but knows them the way a shepherd knows each sheep?
First Lady Lutter said that 50 years ago she walked the aisle three times because she wanted to be certain. What role does assurance of salvation play in your faith? Do you know that he knows your name?

📌 LEADER CHECKLIST

Before your group meets, make sure you have:

Read through the entire guide and selected which questions to use
Read Matthew 25:1-13 and Psalm 14:1-3 in full
Prayed for each member of your group by name
Prepared your own honest answers to at least 3 of the discussion questions
Decided how you will handle the personal application time (silent reflection, pairs, or open sharing)
Identified any group members who may be in a season of crisis or spiritual dryness — pray specifically for them and be attentive during discussion
Printed or shared the guide digitally with your group in advance (optional)

📚 FOR FURTHER STUDY

For group members who want to go deeper during the week:

Matthew 24-25 — Read the full "Olivet Discourse" where Jesus teaches about his return and readiness
Proverbs 8-9 — A beautiful extended meditation on wisdom and foolishness
Ephesians 5:15-6:18 — Paul's call to walk wisely and put on the full armor of God (referenced in the opening of the service)
Romans 3:10-12 — Paul's quotation of Psalm 14, reminding us that none of us are righteous on our own
Psalm 139:1-18 — A rich meditation on what it means to be fully known by God

"The door is still open. He knows your name. It's time to get your house in order." — First Lady Elizabeth Lutter

Franklin Avenue Baptist Church | Small Group Ministry Exalting the Savior · Equipping the Saints · Evangelizing the Sinner

This guide was prepared for small group use following the Women's Day 2026 sermon. Please feel free to adapt questions to fit your group's needs and the leading of the Holy Spirit.