How to Be Well — Week 1

Small Group Discussion Guide

Series: How to Be Well Sermon Text: Romans 7:18–25 Theme: Surrendering Our Struggles to God

A Note to Facilitators This week's sermon touched on addiction, recovery, and personal struggle — topics that may carry deep emotion for members of your group. Some people may share vulnerably for the first time. Others may stay quiet because the topic feels too close to home. Both responses are okay. Your most important job this week is not to have all the answers — it's to create a safe, grace-filled space where people feel free to be honest. You don't need to fix anyone. Just listen well, point people to Jesus, and trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest.

Estimated Total Time: 60–90 minutes

OVERVIEW

In this opening message of the How to Be Well series, Pastor Jonathan Pokluda used Romans 7 to explore the universal human struggle with sin and addiction. He called the church to three honest declarations: "I can't" (admitting powerlessness), "God can" (believing in God's power), and "I trust Him" (surrendering everything to God). The message invited everyone — not just those in obvious struggle — to face their storms head-on rather than running from them, and to find freedom through community, surrender, and the power of Jesus Christ.

ICEBREAKER

(5–10 minutes)

Before diving into the sermon content, take a few minutes to connect as a group with this opening question:

Think about a time when you tried really hard to fix something on your own — a car, a relationship, a project — and eventually had to ask for help. What made it hard to ask, and what finally convinced you to do it?

[Leader Tip] This question is intentionally lighthearted and non-spiritual to ease the group into a sensitive topic. Let people laugh and share freely. After a few responses, you can transition by saying something like: "That tension between wanting to handle things ourselves and needing help is exactly what we're going to talk about today."

SCRIPTURE READING

(5 minutes)

Have someone in the group read the following passage aloud. Encourage everyone else to listen and notice what words or phrases stand out to them.

Romans 7:18–25 (NIV)

"For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

A Note on Context: The Apostle Paul — one of the greatest missionaries and theologians in history — wrote these words. He's not describing someone else's struggle. He's describing his own. This passage sits right before Romans 8, one of the most triumphant chapters in all of Scripture. The honesty of Romans 7 makes the freedom of Romans 8 all the more powerful.

After the reading, ask: "What word or phrase from this passage stood out to you? Why?" (Allow 2–3 brief responses before moving into discussion.)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(30–45 minutes)

Work through as many of these questions as time allows. Questions are organized from lighter to deeper. You do not need to cover all of them — choose the ones that feel most relevant to your group.

SECTION 1 — Noticing the Struggle

Observational & Interpretive Questions

1. The sermon opened with the image of a buffalo running into a storm rather than away from it. What does that image say to you about how we typically handle our struggles? What makes it so hard to "turn into the storm" in our own lives?

[Leader Tip] This is a great entry point because it's a metaphor — it lets people engage the concept before getting personal. If the group is quiet, you might ask: "What's the more natural instinct — to face hard things or avoid them? Why do you think that is?"

2. Paul writes in Romans 7 that he keeps doing the very things he doesn't want to do. What does it tell us that even the Apostle Paul struggled this deeply? How does that change the way you read this passage?

3. The sermon described what was called "the four D's" in Paul's experience: Desire, Defeat, Desperation, and Deliverance. Looking back at Romans 7:18–25, where do you see each of those four moments in Paul's words?

[Leader Tip] If your group isn't familiar with the passage, walk through it together slowly. Desire = "I have the desire to do good." Defeat = "I cannot carry it out." Desperation = "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me?" Deliverance = "Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ."

SECTION 2 — Honest About Our Own Struggles

Personal & Reflective Questions

4. The pastor said that everyone in the room has "that thing" — a struggle, a habit, an addiction, or a blind spot. He even listed some examples: approval from others, control, shopping, pornography, alcohol, people-pleasing. Without needing to name your specific struggle, what does it feel like to sit with the question: "What is that thing for me?"

[Leader Tip] This is a vulnerable question. Model openness by sharing something yourself if you're comfortable. Reassure the group: "You don't have to share anything specific. We're just sitting with the question honestly." Silence is okay here — it may mean people are genuinely reflecting.

5. The sermon described "the lie of one last time" — the idea that we can indulge just once more and then stop. Why do you think that lie is so convincing, even when we've fallen for it before? What does it reveal about the nature of our struggles?

6. The pastor shared a story of a man caught in a rip current who exhausted himself fighting it alone before finally waving for help. He said there are only three options: keep fighting until you're exhausted, give up and be swept away, or yell for help. Which of those three responses do you most naturally default to when you're stuck in something? What makes asking for help the hardest option?

[Leader Tip] This question tends to generate great discussion. Listen for themes of pride, shame, fear of judgment, or not wanting to burden others. These are common barriers to seeking help and community.

SECTION 3 — The Three Declarations

Theological & Application Questions

7. The sermon called us to three declarations:

• "I can't" — Admitting we are powerless
• "God can" — Believing God is all-powerful
• "I trust Him" — Surrendering everything to God

Which of these three feels most natural to you? Which feels most difficult, and why?

8. Psalm 103:2–5 was quoted in the sermon:

"Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits — who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

The pastor pointed out that God forgives, heals, redeems, crowns, satisfies, and renews — and that we can't do any of those things for ourselves. Which of these six things do you most need from God right now? What would it look like to actually receive it?

9. The sermon raised a challenging idea: sometimes we don't hear God clearly because we're already ignoring what He's told us clearly in His Word. What do you think about that? Have you ever experienced a season where you felt distant from God — and later realized you were avoiding something He was asking you to face?

[Leader Tip] Be careful not to let this become a guilt-inducing conversation. The goal is honest reflection, not shame. If needed, redirect toward grace: "The good news is that the moment we turn back, He's already waiting."

SECTION 4 — Community and Courage

Community-Focused Questions

10. The sermon challenged us not just to seek help for ourselves, but to have the courage to sit someone we love down and say, "You have a problem. Let's get you help." What makes that kind of loving confrontation so hard? What might make it possible?

PERSONAL APPLICATION

(10–15 minutes)

Take a few minutes — either as a group or in quiet individual reflection — to sit with these questions. You may want to journal your responses or share with a trusted person in your group.

1. If you were completely honest with God and yourself right now, what is the one thing in your life that you keep trying to handle on your own — the thing you haven't fully surrendered?

2. The three declarations from the sermon are: "I can't. God can. I trust Him." Which one do you need to say out loud to God this week? What would it mean to really mean it?

3. Is there someone in your life who is struggling — someone caught in a current they can't get out of on their own? What is one courageous, loving step you could take toward that person this week?

4. The sermon mentioned Regeneration, the church's step-based recovery ministry meeting Monday nights at 6:30 p.m. Whether or not that's for you, what is one community resource, relationship, or support you've been hesitant to reach out to — and what's one reason you might take that step this week?

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose one of the following and commit to it before your group meets again:

• 🙏 Pray the three declarations daily: "I can't. God can. I trust Him." Say them out loud each morning as a reminder of where your strength comes from.

• 📖 Read Romans 8 on your own this week. Notice how the freedom described there follows the honest struggle of Romans 7. Bring one thing that stood out to you to share with your group next week.

• 💬 Have one honest conversation — either with God about your own struggle, or with someone in your life who needs to hear a loving, courageous word from you.

• 🚪 Take one step toward help — whether that's visiting Regeneration on Monday night, reaching out to a counselor, calling a trusted friend, or simply telling one person what you're struggling with.

PRAYER FOCUS

(5–10 minutes)

Close your time together in prayer. Here are suggested prayer topics — feel free to use them as a guide or pray in your own words:

1. Honesty and Courage Pray for the courage to be honest — with God, with ourselves, and with the people around us — about where we are struggling.

2. The Power of God Thank God that He is more powerful than anything we face. Pray Psalm 103 back to Him — thanking Him that He forgives, heals, redeems, crowns, satisfies, and renews.

3. Someone You're Carrying Without sharing names aloud, invite each person to silently bring to mind someone in their life who is struggling. Pray together for God to move in that person's life — and for the courage to be part of how He does.

4. Freedom Pray for your group — that this series would be a turning point. That people would find the freedom that is already available to them in Christ.

5. Your Church's Recovery Ministry Pray for Regeneration and all the people who will walk through the doors this Monday. Pray for those in your group who might be feeling a nudge to go.

Suggested Closing Prayer: "Lord, we confess that we can't do this on our own. We believe that You can do what we cannot. And today, we choose to trust You — with our struggles, our loved ones, and our futures. Thank You that You deliver us through Jesus Christ. Amen."

OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For groups with extra time or who want to go further

1. The sermon referenced the transition from Romans 7 to Romans 8 — describing Romans 7 as "the storm right before the beautiful sunrise." Read Romans 8:1–2 and 8:38–39 together:

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1–2)

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38–39)

How does the promise of Romans 8 change the way you face the honest struggle of Romans 7? What does it mean that there is "no condemnation" even in the middle of our worst seasons?

2. Proverbs 3:5–6 was the first verse the pastor ever memorized:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

What does it look like practically to "lean not on your own understanding" when it comes to a struggle you're facing? What's the difference between trusting God for salvation and trusting God in the daily battle of our struggles?

3. The pastor described how the man in the rip current had to stop fighting and wave for help before anyone could reach him. He said: "It took him saying 'I'm struggling' — that was the signal." In your experience, what has made it easier or harder to admit you're struggling — to God or to another person? What role does community play in our freedom?

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURES FOR FURTHER STUDY

For individuals or groups who want to keep exploring this week:

RESOURCES

• Regeneration — Step-based recovery ministry meeting Monday nights at 6:30 p.m. Open to anyone. Learn more at harriscreek.org.
• Daily Bible Reading Plan — Reading straight through the Bible together as a church. Sign up at biblereading plan.org or through the Harris Creek app.
• Courageous Hope — A 14-week gathering for women seeking freedom and healing from sexual abuse. Contact the church for details.
• Questions or Prayer? — Email the team at hello@harriscreek.org

This guide was prepared for Harris Creek small groups. Feel free to adapt questions to fit your group's needs and pace. You know your group best — trust your instincts, lean on the Holy Spirit, and remember: the goal isn't a perfect discussion. It's an honest one.