Small Group Discussion Guide

"Not to Attend, But to Belong: Being the Church"

Based on Ephesians 4:11–16 | Harris Creek Church

A Note to Facilitators: This guide is designed for 60–90 minutes. You know your group best — feel free to skip questions, linger where conversation is rich, or swap in the "Optional Deep Dive" questions if your group is ready to go further. There are no wrong answers here. Your job is to create a safe space for honest conversation, not to have all the answers. Pray before your group meets, and trust the Holy Spirit to lead.

OVERVIEW

This week's sermon challenged us to examine the difference between attending church and being the church. Drawing from Ephesians 4:11–16, the message unpacked Harris Creek's mission — engaging the lost, equipping the saints, and empowering members for service — and called every follower of Jesus to move from the sidelines into active participation in what God is doing in the world. The central question isn't "What does this church offer me?" but rather "How is God calling me to give, serve, and share my life with others?"

ICEBREAKER (5–10 minutes)

Question: Think about a time when you went somewhere expecting to just watch or observe — a sports game, a concert, a class, a family gathering — but ended up getting pulled into active participation. What happened, and how did it feel different from just being a spectator?

[Leader Tip]: This question is lighthearted and accessible for everyone, regardless of church background. Let it breathe — laughter and storytelling here will warm the group up for deeper conversation. Don't rush to the "spiritual application" yet; just enjoy the stories.

SCRIPTURE READING (5 minutes)

Have someone in the group read the passage aloud. Invite the group to listen for one word or phrase that stands out to them.

Ephesians 4:11–16 (NIV)

"So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every aspect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."

A supporting passage referenced in the sermon:

Luke 19:10 (NIV)

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

Brief Context for Facilitators: Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians around 60 AD — only about 30 years after Jesus launched the church. The first three chapters are pure theology: who God is, who we are in Christ. Chapters 4–6 shift to how we live in light of that truth. Chapter 4 is the turning point, and this passage is its heartbeat: the church isn't a service we attend; it's a body we belong to — each part doing its work under Christ, the head.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (30–45 minutes)

Work through as many of these as time allows. Questions are arranged to move from observation to interpretation to personal application.

THEME 1: Consumers vs. Contributors — Rethinking Why We're Here

1. The sermon opened with a comparison between choosing a church and choosing a restaurant — evaluating the "vibe," the style, the music, whether there's a ministry that fits your exact situation. How much do you recognize that kind of thinking in yourself or in our culture? What's driving it?

[Leader Tip]: This question invites honest self-reflection, not self-condemnation. Model vulnerability by acknowledging that consumer thinking is natural and culturally normal. The goal isn't shame — it's awareness. If the group goes quiet, try: "What messages does our culture send us about what we 'deserve' from the places we spend our time?"

2. The sermon introduced a provocative thought experiment: What if Satan rewrote the church's mission statement? The "demonic version" would be: exist to help everyone forget Jesus by evading the lost, entertaining the saints, and ensuring members are served. What's the difference between those two versions in real, everyday life? What does each one actually look like on a Tuesday morning?

3. Read Ephesians 4:16 again: "From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." The sermon used the image of a human body — eyes, hands, feet, all different but all necessary. What happens to a body when one part decides it's just there to be carried by the others? What does that tell us about the church?

THEME 2: Engaging the Lost — Sharing the Truth We're Living In

4. The sermon offered a fresh way to think about evangelism — not as a technique or a script to memorize, but as "truthing in love" (the literal Greek behind "speaking the truth in love" in verse 15). The idea is that as you become more saturated in the truth of the gospel, it naturally overflows into how you love the people around you. What does that reframe for you about what sharing your faith actually looks like?

[Leader Tip]: Some group members may have baggage around evangelism — past experiences of feeling pressured, embarrassed, or like they had to have all the answers. Acknowledge that honestly. The point of this question is to lower the barrier, not raise it. Follow-up if needed: "What's one relationship in your life where you're already 'truthing in love' without necessarily calling it evangelism?"

5. The sermon referenced Luke 19:10 — Jesus saying he came "to seek and save the lost." If Jesus is the head and we are his body, what does it mean practically for us to carry on that mission in our neighborhood, our workplace, our family, or our campus? Who are the specific people in your life that come to mind when you hear that?

6. The story of David — the young man from a Muslim home who ended up at church because a stranger named Aubrey served his father's restaurant for free, out of genuine love — is a striking example of how mission happens in unexpected places. What strikes you most about that story? What does it suggest about how God uses ordinary moments and ordinary people?

[Leader Tip]: This is a great question to invite quieter members into. Try: "Does anyone have a story — maybe from your own faith journey — where someone's ordinary act of kindness or presence opened a door to something bigger?"

THEME 3: Equipping the Saints — Growing Up, Not Just Showing Up

7. The sermon drew a clear line between spiritual maturity and spiritual knowledge. You can memorize the Bible and still be spiritually immature. True maturity, the sermon suggested, is being yielded to Christ as the "head" — letting him direct your life, your choices, and your relationships. By that definition, what does spiritual growth actually look like in a person's day-to-day life? What are the signs?

8. The sermon made the case that the primary method of discipleship isn't a classroom — it's a living room. It's being placed with other imperfect people and learning to work it out together, respond with Scripture instead of just instinct, and let the Holy Spirit sand off the rough edges. How have you experienced that kind of growth through relationships in a small group, a friendship, or a community? What made it hard? What made it worth it?

THEME 4: Empowering Members for Service — Finding Your Place in the Mission

9. Kendall's story about serving on the parking team was a powerful reminder that no role in the body of Christ is small. She said: "I always look at the driver and smile at them... you don't know the last time someone was smiled at." What does her perspective reveal about what it means to be "deployed" in service — even in a role that might seem invisible or unglamorous?

10. The sermon closed with three questions meant to be carried into the week. Let's sit with them together as a group:

• Who are you pursuing? (Is there someone in your life far from Jesus whom you're intentionally investing in?)
• How are you growing? (What is measurably different about your faith compared to a year ago?)
• Where are you serving? (Are you contributing to the mission of the body, or primarily receiving?)

Which of these three questions feels most alive — or most convicting — for you right now, and why?

[Leader Tip]: This is the heart of the application section, so give it room. You may want to go around the circle and let each person respond to just one of the three questions. Remind the group that this is a safe space — honesty is more valuable than impressive answers.

PERSONAL APPLICATION (10–15 minutes)

Take a few minutes to reflect individually before sharing with the group. You don't have to share all of these — pick the one that feels most relevant to where you are right now.

1. Think about your current relationship with your church community. On a spectrum from "consumer" (primarily receiving) to "contributor" (actively investing in others), where would you honestly place yourself today? What's one small step that could move you further toward contributor?

2. Is there someone in your life — a coworker, a neighbor, a family member, a classmate — who is far from Jesus, and whom you've been avoiding engaging out of fear, awkwardness, or busyness? What would it look like to take one intentional step toward that person this week?

3. The sermon said: "You will be wildly successful at the world and then you'll die having lived a meaningless life, never having found your purpose." That's a serious statement. How does it land with you? In what area of your life are you most tempted to pursue success at the expense of purpose?

4. If the church is a body and every part has a role, what do you believe your "part" is? If you're not sure, what gifts, passions, or experiences has God given you that might point toward where he wants to use you?

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose one of the following to put into practice before your group meets again:

• 🟢 Pursue: Identify one person in your life who doesn't know Jesus. Write their name down. Pray for them every day this week. Look for one natural opportunity to show them care or kindness.

• 🔵 Grow: Spend time this week in Ephesians 4:11–16. Read it in two or three different translations (try The Message or NLT alongside your regular Bible). Journal one thing it says about who you are in the body of Christ.

• 🟠 Serve: If you're not currently serving somewhere — at your church or in your community — take one concrete step this week to explore a serving opportunity. Sign up, make a call, show up.

• 🔴 Share: Practice the "1 to 10" question the sermon mentioned — "On a scale of 1 to 10, how certain are you that if you died today you'd go to heaven?" — with someone this week. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be curious, be present, and be willing.

PRAYER FOCUS (5–10 minutes)

Close your time together in prayer. You can use these prompts to guide a time of open prayer, or have one person pray over the group using these themes:

• For the lost: Pray by name for people in your group's lives who are far from Jesus. Ask God to open doors and soften hearts — theirs and yours.

• For courage: Ask God for the courage to move from spectator to participant — in your church, your neighborhood, and your relationships.

• For growth: Pray that God would reveal one area where your group members have been "staying put" spiritually, and ask him to stir genuine hunger for change.

• For your community: Pray for your city — for churches, pastors, leaders, students, and families. Ask God to do something remarkable in this generation.

• For each other: Take a moment to let group members share one specific prayer request, then pray for one another by name.

OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For groups with extra time or who want to explore further

A. Read 1 Corinthians 12:12–27 alongside Ephesians 4:11–16. Both passages use the "body" metaphor for the church. What additional insights does the Corinthians passage add? What does it say about how the parts of the body should treat each other — especially the parts that seem "weaker" or less visible?

B. The sermon pointed out that in Ephesians 4:11, God gives evangelists to the church not so they will do all the evangelism, but so they will teach the church to evangelize. What would it look like for your small group specifically to become a community of people who intentionally train and encourage one another in sharing the gospel? What's one practical way you could build that into your life together?

C. The sermon described "truthing in love" — living so saturated in the gospel that it overflows naturally into how you love others. Read John 15:1–8, Jesus's image of the vine and the branches. How does that passage connect to this idea? What is the relationship between staying connected to Jesus (abiding) and naturally bearing fruit in the lives of people around you?

RELATED SCRIPTURE FOR FURTHER STUDY

This guide was prepared for small group use at Harris Creek Church based on the Sunday sermon series. Questions or feedback? Reach out to your group coordinator or email hello@harriscreek.org.

"Not to go to church, but to be the church." — JP, Sunday's Sermon