Small Group Discussion Guide

In Fuego Series | Week 1: What Lies Beneath

Anger — The Fire Within

A Note to Facilitators: Welcome! This guide is designed to work for you whether this is your first time leading or your hundredth. You don't need to have all the answers — your job is simply to create space for honest conversation. Read through the guide before your meeting, choose the questions that feel right for your group, and trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest. Estimated total time: 75–90 minutes.

OVERVIEW

In the opening message of the In Fuego series, Pastor Mike explored what Jesus called "what lies beneath" — the hidden anger that quietly shapes our words, our relationships, and our souls. Drawing from the Sermon on the Mount, the book of James, and Proverbs, the message challenged us to examine how we handle anger, recognize it as a "second emotion" that often masks deeper pain, and learn to respond in God-honoring ways rather than stuffing, venting, litigating, or passively bombing the people around us.

ICEBREAKER

(5–10 minutes)

Start here to warm up the group and get everyone talking before diving into deeper content.

Question:

"Think about a time when something small — a traffic jam, a slow internet connection, a misplaced item — made you way more frustrated than it probably deserved. What was it, and looking back, what do you think was really going on?"

[Leader Tip]: This question is meant to be light and even funny. Share your own story first to set a safe, non-judgmental tone. Laughter here opens the door to more honest sharing later. Don't let this run too long — keep it moving after a few people share.

SCRIPTURE READING

(5 minutes)

Read the following passages aloud together, or ask a volunteer to read. These are the key texts from Sunday's message.

Matthew 5:21–22 (NLT)

"You have heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.' But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell."

James 1:19–20 (NLT)

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires."

Ephesians 4:26–27, 29, 31–32 (NLT)

"And 'don't sin by letting anger control you.' Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil... Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them... Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT)

"A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare."

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(30–45 minutes)

Work through as many of these questions as time allows. They're organized to move from observation to personal reflection. You don't have to cover every question — choose the ones that feel most relevant to your group.

SECTION 1: Seeing the Landscape

Getting the conversation started with what we observed and understood.

1. What stood out to you most from Sunday's message — a story, a statistic, a scripture, or an idea? Why did that particular thing catch your attention?

[Leader Tip]: This is your "landing" question — it helps everyone reconnect with the sermon and gives you a sense of where people's hearts are. There's no wrong answer here. If the group is quiet, share what stood out to you first.

2. Pastor Mike said we are living in "the age of rage." Looking at our culture — social media, politics, traffic, sports, workplaces — where do you see anger showing up most visibly? Why do you think we're so angry as a society right now?

3. Jesus said in Matthew 5 that anger itself — not just the act of murder — puts us in danger of judgment. Why do you think Jesus went beneath the surface behavior to the attitude of the heart? What does that tell us about what God cares about most?

[Leader Tip]: This is a great opportunity to reinforce the sermon's core idea: God isn't just concerned with what we do, but with what's happening inside us. If the group struggles, ask: "What's the difference between following a rule and having a transformed heart?"

SECTION 2: Knowing Ourselves

Getting honest about our own patterns.

4. Pastor Mike described four anger "management styles" — the Trash Compactor (stuffer), the Ventilator (exploder), the Prosecuting Attorney (litigator), and the Stealth Bomber (passive-aggressive). Which of these do you most naturally tend toward, and can you share an example of what that looks like in your life?

[Leader Tip]: This question invites vulnerability, so model it yourself. Be honest and even a little self-deprecating — it gives others permission to do the same. Remind the group that this is a safe space and what's shared here stays here.

Optional follow-up if discussion stalls: "Is there a situation — at work, at home, in traffic — where you tend to respond differently than you normally would? What triggers that shift?"

5. Pastor Mike introduced the idea that anger is often the "second emotion" — meaning something else (hurt, fear, loneliness, disappointment) comes first, and we jump to anger because it feels easier or more powerful. Does that idea ring true for you? What "first emotions" do you find yourself skipping over most often?

6. The sermon mentioned that the late Dallas Willard gauged his spiritual maturity by his irritability levels. What do you think of that measuring stick? What does your current irritability level say about what's going on inside you right now?

[Leader Tip]: This question can feel convicting, so frame it with grace. Remind the group that the goal isn't guilt — it's honest self-awareness, which is the first step toward growth. If someone seems uncomfortable, normalize it: "Most of us feel that one, right?"

SECTION 3: Engaging the Scripture

Going deeper into what the Bible says.

7. James 1:19–20 gives us a simple but challenging formula: be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry. In your experience, which of those three is hardest to practice — and why?

8. Ephesians 4:26–27 says not to let the sun go down on your anger because it gives the devil a "foothold" — literally, a base of operation. What do you think happens in a person's heart, mind, or relationships when anger is left to sit overnight, or for weeks, or for years? Have you ever seen — or experienced — the long-term effects of buried anger?

9. Pastor Mike offered three practical handles for managing anger in a God-honoring way:

• Reflect before you react (understand the first emotion)
• Remember the results (play the video all the way out)
• Restrain your remarks (a gentle answer turns away wrath)

Which of these three do you find most challenging in the heat of the moment? What makes it hard?

[Leader Tip]: Let people pick the one that resonates most rather than trying to discuss all three equally. This will naturally surface the most personal and meaningful conversation. You might also ask: "Has anyone had a moment where they did do one of these well — what happened?"

PERSONAL APPLICATION

(10–15 minutes)

These questions are for quieter, more personal reflection. You may want to give people 2–3 minutes to think silently before inviting sharing, or let people respond in pairs before bringing it back to the group.

1. Is there a relationship in your life right now where unresolved anger — yours or someone else's — is creating distance or damage? Without naming names, what would it look like to take one small step toward healing in that relationship this week?

2. The sermon ended with a powerful reminder: Jesus, who knew everything that lies beneath in every human heart — all our rage, bitterness, and sin — still chose the cross and said, "Father, forgive them." How does that reality change the way you think about forgiving someone who has hurt or angered you?

3. Pastor Mike encouraged memorizing Proverbs 15:1 — "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Think about a specific, upcoming situation this week where you're likely to face frustration or conflict. How could this verse change the way you walk into that moment?

✅ THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose one (or more) of the following to practice before your group meets again:

• Scripture Memory: Memorize Proverbs 15:1. Write it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you'll see it — your mirror, your dashboard, your phone wallpaper.
• Emotional Inventory: The next time you feel angry this week, pause and ask: "What's the first emotion here? What am I really feeling beneath the anger?" Write it down if it helps.
• Restraint Practice: Identify one situation this week where you would normally react quickly — and intentionally choose to listen more and speak less.
• Pray Psalm 139:23–24: Use David's prayer as your own this week — "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."
• Relational Courage: If there's a relationship where you've stuffed anger or caused hurt with your words, take one step toward honest, grace-filled conversation.

PRAYER FOCUS

(5–10 minutes)

Close your time together in prayer. Here are some suggested areas to pray over as a group:

• Honesty: Ask God to give each person in the group the courage to look honestly at what lies beneath the surface of their anger.
• Healing: Pray for anyone carrying long-term bitterness, resentment, or unresolved hurt — that God would begin a process of healing and freedom.
• Relationships: Lift up the specific relationships in the room where anger has caused damage or distance, asking God to bring reconciliation and grace.
• Transformation: Ask the Holy Spirit to bring these scriptures to mind this week in the moments when they're needed most.
• Gentleness: Pray together that God would grow in each person a spirit of gentleness — the kind that turns away wrath rather than stirring it up.

Consider closing with this simple prayer together or in your own words:

"God, thank you for going beneath the surface — for caring not just about what we do but about who we're becoming. Search our hearts. Show us what lies beneath. And by your Spirit, begin to change us from the inside out. Help us this week to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry — not because we're trying harder, but because we're trusting you more. In Jesus' name, amen."

OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For groups with extra time or who want to go further

1. The sermon drew a distinction between "righteous anger" (like Jesus clearing the temple) and the destructive anger we often experience. How do you tell the difference between the two in your own heart? What questions might help you discern whether your anger is righteous or self-serving in a given moment?

Related passage for exploration: John 2:13–17 (Jesus and the temple)

2. Aristotle said, "Anyone can become angry — that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, in the right way — that is not easy." This was written 2,000 years before the New Testament. What does it say about the universality of this struggle? And what does the gospel offer that Aristotle's wisdom alone cannot?

3. Ephesians 4:32 connects our ability to forgive others directly to how much we've been forgiven by God. In your experience, what's the relationship between receiving grace and extending it? Why do people who know they've been deeply forgiven sometimes still struggle to forgive others?

Related passage for exploration: Matthew 18:21–35 (the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant)

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURE FOR FURTHER STUDY

For individuals or groups who want to keep exploring this topic throughout the week:

SERIES CONTEXT

In Fuego is a multi-week series exploring the theme of fire — passion, refinement, and transformation. This week and next week focus specifically on anger. Upcoming weeks will explore how God uses the "fires" of life to refine our character, much like fire purifies gold. Encourage your group to stay engaged week to week, as each message builds on the last.

This guide was created for use in Lake Pointe Church small groups. Questions? Contact your campus small groups coordinator.

Next Week: In Fuego continues with Week 2 on anger — diving deeper into the path toward forgiveness, freedom, and restored relationships.