Small Group Discussion Guide

The Slow Burn: Learning to Live in the Wait

Week 2 of Book Club Series | Based on "Slow Burn" by DonSheree Wilkerson

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A Note to Facilitators: Welcome! This guide is designed to help any leader — whether you've led groups for years or this is your first time — create a meaningful conversation. You don't need to have all the answers. Your job is simply to create a safe space where people can be honest, ask questions, and encourage one another. Read through the guide before your meeting, pick the questions that feel right for your group, and trust God to do the rest.

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📋 OVERVIEW

In this week's message, pastor and author DonSheree Wilkerson challenged us to rethink how we understand waiting. Drawing from Isaiah 40:31 and Romans 12:1, she made the case that waiting isn't just a difficult season to endure — it's the very fabric of life, and an invitation to experience God's presence and transformation more deeply. Using the image of slow-burning incense versus a blazing bonfire, she called us to surrender our desire for quick results and trust God in the "slow burn" — the quiet, unseen work he does in us when we lay our lives on the altar.

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🧊 ICEBREAKER

(5–10 minutes)

Choose one of the following to open your time together:

Option A (Lighter/Fun):

"DonSheree shared a list of 18 goals she wanted to accomplish in a single summer at age 20 — including learning Spanish, recording a worship album, and figuring out how to straighten teeth without braces. What's the most ambitious or unrealistic goal you've ever set for yourself? How did it turn out?"

Option B (More Reflective):

"Think about something in your life that took much longer to happen than you expected. Without going into too much detail yet — what was the waiting like?"

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[Leader Tip]: The icebreaker sets the tone for the whole conversation. Keep it light and fun, especially with Option A. Don't let one person dominate — if your group is larger, consider breaking into pairs for 2 minutes, then sharing one or two responses with the whole group. The goal is simply to get people talking and comfortable before you go deeper.

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📖 SCRIPTURE READING

(5 minutes)

Ask a volunteer to read each passage aloud. Encourage the group to listen for a word or phrase that stands out to them.

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Isaiah 40:31 (The life verse that anchored DonSheree's message)

"But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." — Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

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Romans 12:1 (The key passage from the sermon)

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship." — Romans 12:1 (NIV)

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2 Corinthians 2:14–15 (The "fragrance" passage)

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." — 2 Corinthians 2:14–15 (NIV)

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[Leader Tip]: After the readings, give the group 30 seconds of quiet to identify one word or phrase that caught their attention. You can invite 2–3 people to share before moving into the discussion questions. This simple practice helps people engage personally with Scripture before the conversation begins.

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💬 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(30–45 minutes)

Feel free to select the questions that best fit your group's needs and time. You don't need to cover all of them. Questions are organized from lighter and observational to deeper and more personal.

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SECTION 1: Understanding the Wait

Getting into the message together

1. What was the most memorable moment, image, or idea from Sunday's message? What stuck with you — and why?

(Estimated time: 5 minutes)

[Leader Tip]: This is a great opening question because it lets everyone share something different and there's no wrong answer. It also helps you quickly learn which parts of the message resonated most with your specific group so you can spend more time there.

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2. DonSheree made a bold statement: "Waiting is not a season. Waiting is life." How does that idea challenge or change the way you normally think about waiting?

(Estimated time: 5 minutes)

Consider sharing: Most of us treat waiting like a problem to solve or a hallway to rush through. What if it's actually the main room?

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3. She described two very different images — a blazing bonfire and slow-burning incense. In your own words, what was the difference she was pointing to? Which image best describes where you are spiritually right now, and why?

(Estimated time: 5–7 minutes)

[Leader Tip]: This question invites honest self-reflection. Some people may feel like neither image fits them right now — they feel cold or burned out entirely. That's a valid and important answer. Affirm honesty. DonSheree's message actually addressed this: "You're not the fire. If you want to be re-lit, all you have to do is head back to the altar." Let that be a gentle word of grace if someone shares they feel burned out.

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SECTION 2: The Theology of Waiting

Going deeper into what Scripture says

4. Look back at Isaiah 40:31. DonSheree pointed out that the verse doesn't say "they that always believe" or "they that pray the best prayers" — it says "they that wait." What do you think it actually means to "wait on the Lord"? What does that look like practically in everyday life?

(Estimated time: 7 minutes)

Optional follow-up if discussion slows: "Is waiting on God a passive thing — like sitting still — or is there something active about it? What do you think?"

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5. Romans 12:1 calls us to offer our bodies as "living sacrifices." DonSheree said, "We want the spotlight, but God wants the surrender. We want to be raised up, but God says, 'I wish you would lay your life down.'" What does surrender actually look like in a season of waiting? What makes it so difficult?

(Estimated time: 7 minutes)

[Leader Tip]: This question gets to the heart of the message. Surrender can feel like giving up, especially when we've been praying for something for a long time. Help the group distinguish between surrendering to God (trust) versus surrendering on our desires (defeat). DonSheree's own story of infertility is a powerful example — she surrendered the outcome while continuing to trust the Person.

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6. The sermon introduced the image of incense: when it's placed on the altar, it's transformed from the inside out and releases a fragrance that travels for miles. What do you think it means for our lives to carry "the fragrance of Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:14–15)? Have you ever encountered someone who seemed to carry that kind of fragrance? What was it about them?

(Estimated time: 5–7 minutes)

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SECTION 3: Honest Conversations About Waiting

Getting personal

7. DonSheree shared openly about eight years of walking through infertility. She said, "It was in the waiting that I discovered who God was — and who I am in him." Has there been a season of waiting in your life that, looking back, taught you something about God or yourself that you couldn't have learned any other way?

(Estimated time: 7 minutes)

[Leader Tip]: This question invites vulnerability and may surface real pain. Some people in your group may currently be in a long season of waiting — for healing, a relationship, a job, a prodigal child, or something else. Create space for honesty without rushing to fix or explain. Sometimes the most powerful thing a group can do is simply listen and say, "We're in this with you."

Optional follow-up: "For those who are still in the middle of a waiting season — what has been the hardest part? What has kept you going?"

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8. DonSheree said something that might be hard to hear: "We don't get everything we pray for on this side of eternity." She asked, "What if it never happens — that thing you're praying so earnestly for?" How do you respond to that question honestly? How do we hold onto faith when the answer seems to be "no" or "not yet"?

(Estimated time: 7 minutes)

Consider this: She also said, "Your life will not be wasted in the wait. God always answers. He says yes, no, and he says wait."

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🙋 PERSONAL APPLICATION

(10–15 minutes)

These questions are designed for individual reflection. You may want to give people 2–3 minutes of quiet to think before inviting sharing. Remind the group that no one is obligated to share — these are between them and God.

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1. Right now, what is the one thing you are most actively waiting on God for? Name it honestly — even if just to yourself.

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2. DonSheree described carrying "old fragrances" — the smell of heartbreak, betrayal, shame, or regret that others have left on us, or that we've carried from our own mistakes. Is there an old fragrance you've been carrying that you need to surrender to God? What would it look like to make that exchange at the altar?

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3. She challenged us not to isolate in the waiting: "Don't isolate. Don't run away. Don't shrink and hide. Plant your feet in the house of God." On a scale of 1–10, how connected do you feel to community right now? What's one step you could take this week to deepen that connection?

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4. The sermon closed with an image of a paper airplane — flat and one-dimensional on its own, but capable of flight in the right hands. Where in your life are you tempted to stay in control rather than placing yourself in the hands of the Maker? What would it look like to let go this week?

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✅ THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose one (or more) that feels right for where you are:

• 📖 Read Isaiah 40:28–31 slowly, one verse at a time, every day this week. Journal what each verse means to you personally right now.
• 🙏 Create a "slow burn" moment — set aside 10–15 minutes each morning or evening this week to simply sit in God's presence. No agenda. Just surrender and listen.
• 👥 Take one step toward community — join a Life Group, text someone from church, or invite a friend to join you next week.
• ✍️ Write your own list — like DonSheree's summer goals list, write down the things you're waiting on God for. Then, one by one, lay them before him in prayer and ask: "God, what are you doing in me while I wait for this?"
• 💬 Share your story — find one person this week and tell them honestly where you are in your waiting. Let someone carry it with you.

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🙏 PRAYER FOCUS

(5–10 minutes)

Suggested ways to close in prayer — choose what fits your group:

Option A: Conversational Group Prayer Invite anyone who feels comfortable to pray aloud. Suggest these themes:

• Gratitude for God's faithfulness, even in seasons of waiting
• Honesty about where we feel stuck or discouraged
• Surrender — laying specific needs and desires on the altar
• Strength and community for those in long seasons of waiting

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Option B: Guided Prayer (Read aloud by the facilitator)

Lord, thank you that you are not a distant God — you are a loving Father who is present with us right here, right now. We confess that waiting is hard. We confess that we sometimes want the bonfire moments more than we want you. But today, we choose to lay our lives on the altar. We bring you our tears, our empty hands, our disappointments, and our unanswered prayers. We trust that you are working — slowly, faithfully, powerfully — even when we can't see it. Transform us from the inside out. Let our lives carry the fragrance of your grace, your goodness, and your love. Teach us to wait on you. In Jesus' name, amen.

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Option C: Prayer Partners Break into pairs. Give each person 2 minutes to share one thing they're waiting on God for, then have their partner pray specifically for them. This is especially powerful for groups with new members or quieter personalities.

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🔍 OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For groups with extra time or who want to explore further

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Deep Dive 1: The Altar of Incense in Scripture

Read Exodus 30:1–9 and Revelation 8:3–4 together.

Exodus 30:1, 7–8: "Make an altar of acacia wood for burning incense... Aaron must burn fragrant incense on the altar every morning... He must burn incense again when he lights the lamps at twilight so incense will burn regularly before the LORD for the generations to come."

Revelation 8:3–4: "Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God's people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God's people, went up before God from the angel's hand."

Discussion: What does it mean to you that your prayers are described in Revelation as rising like incense before God's throne? How does that image change the way you think about prayer in a season of waiting?

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Deep Dive 2: What Does "Waiting on God" Look Like in Scripture?

Look at these examples of biblical figures who waited:

• Abraham waited 25 years for the promised son (Genesis 12–21)
• Joseph waited 13 years from his dreams to their fulfillment (Genesis 37–41)
• David was anointed king but waited years before taking the throne (1 Samuel 16–2 Samuel 2)

Discussion: What patterns do you notice in how God worked during the waiting in these stories — not just at the end? What do these examples teach us about what God might be doing in our own seasons of waiting?

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Deep Dive 3: Surrender as Worship

Re-read Romans 12:1 and consider this quote from the sermon:

"We want the fire, but God wants the fragrance of your life. We want the spotlight, but God wants the surrender."

Discussion: The passage calls offering our bodies a "living sacrifice" our "true and proper worship." How does that redefine what worship means? In what areas of your life is God currently inviting you to make worship less about a moment and more about a posture?

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📚 RELATED SCRIPTURE FOR FURTHER STUDY

Passage	Theme
Psalm 27:13–14	Courage to wait on the Lord
Lamentations 3:25–26	God is good to those who wait
James 1:2–4	The purpose of trials and testing
Psalm 126:5–6	Those who sow in tears will reap with joy
Isaiah 61:1–3	Beauty for ashes
Hebrews 11:1	Faith as confidence in what we hope for
Psalm 46:10	"Be still and know that I am God"

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📝 FACILITATOR CHECKLIST

Before your group meets, make sure you have:

• Read through the entire guide and selected your questions
• Read (or listened to) the sermon yourself
• Prayed for each person in your group by name
• Printed or shared the guide digitally with your group
• Prepared a Bible or phone with the Scripture passages ready
• Thought about anyone in your group who may be in a particularly painful season of waiting — and how to create space for them
• Identified your closing prayer approach

Remember: The best small group leaders aren't the ones with the most answers — they're the ones who ask the best questions and make people feel genuinely seen and heard. You've got this.

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This guide was prepared for Life Church small groups based on the Week 2 "Book Club" message featuring DonSheree Wilkerson, author of Slow Burn: The Work and Wonder of the Wait. For more resources, visit life.church.