Small Group Discussion Guide

"Cursing the King" | 2 Samuel 16:5–14

Series: Desiring the King | One Harbor Church

A Note to Facilitators: This week's sermon touched on some tender themes — shame, betrayal, failure, and restoration. Your group may include people carrying deep wounds in these areas. Create a warm, unhurried environment where people feel safe to share honestly. You don't need to have all the answers. Your job is to ask good questions, listen well, and point people toward Jesus. This guide is designed for 60–90 minutes. Choose the questions that best fit your group.

OVERVIEW

In this sermon, Pastor Frickie walked us through 2 Samuel 16, where King David — fleeing his own son Absalom's rebellion — is publicly cursed and shamed by a man named Shimei. Rather than retaliating, David responds with surprising humility and trust in God. The sermon drew a powerful line from David's story to Jesus, the "better David," who didn't just endure shame but willingly became a curse for us on the cross. Using the story of Peter's denial and restoration in John 21, the message called us to recognize that Jesus died not only for our sin but for our shame — and that he offers each of us redemptive "redo moments" where healing and wholeness can begin.

ICEBREAKER

(5–10 minutes)

Question: Think of a movie, book, or story where a character gets a meaningful "second chance" or a moment of unexpected restoration. What was that moment, and why did it stick with you?

[Leader Tip]: This question is intentionally light and accessible. It warms the group up to the theme of restoration without asking anyone to be vulnerable right away. Let several people share briefly before moving on.

SCRIPTURE READING

(5 minutes)

Have someone in the group read the following passage aloud. Invite the group to listen for what surprises them or stands out.

2 Samuel 16:5–14 (ESV)

"When King David came to Bahurim, there came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera, and as he came he cursed continually. And he threw stones at David and at all the servants of King David, and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. And Shimei said as he cursed, 'Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! The Lord has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the Lord has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.'"

"Then Abishai the son of Zeruiah said to the king, 'Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and take off his head.' But the king said, 'What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the Lord has said to him, "Curse David," who then shall say, "Why have you done so?"' And David said to Abishai and to all his servants, 'Behold, my own son seeks my life; how much more now may this Benjaminite! Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will look on the wrong done to me, and that the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing today.' So David and his men went on the road, while Shimei went along on the hillside opposite him and cursed as he went and threw stones at him and flung dust. And the king, and all the people who were with him, arrived weary at the Jordan. And there he refreshed himself."

Additional Key Passage — John 21:15–17 (ESV)

"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.' He said to him, 'Feed my lambs.' He said to him a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.' He said to him, 'Tend my sheep.' He said to him the third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you love me?' Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?' and he said to him, 'Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.' Jesus said to him, 'Feed my sheep.'"

Brief Context for Facilitators to Share: David is at one of the lowest points of his life. His son Absalom has staged a coup and is marching on Jerusalem. David is fleeing for his life, exhausted and humiliated, when Shimei comes out throwing stones and shouting curses. Rather than silencing him, David sees this as a moment to trust God rather than defend himself. The sermon connects this to Jesus, who walked a remarkably similar road — and went even further, willingly becoming a curse for us.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(30–45 minutes)

Work through as many of these as time allows. Questions are arranged from lighter to deeper. Feel free to skip or adapt based on your group.

THEME 1: Understanding the Story

Getting into the Text

1. What was the first thing that stood out to you — or surprised you — from Sunday's sermon or from reading this passage?

[Leader Tip]: This is a great opener that invites everyone in without pressure. There are no wrong answers. If someone mentions the background details (Absalom's rebellion, the context of David's flight), that's helpful for the group. If the group is quiet, you can prompt: "Was there anything in the backstory — about David's family situation — that surprised you?"

2. David was publicly mocked, cursed, and pelted with stones while fleeing in humiliation. Why do you think David chose not to let Abishai silence Shimei? What does that tell us about where David's head and heart were in that moment?

THEME 2: Shame and Cursing

Naming What We've Experienced

3. Pastor Frickie described shame not just as an ancient concept, but as something very alive today — in social media, in locker rooms, in churches, even in moments where someone said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Where do you see shame operating most powerfully in people's lives today?

[Leader Tip]: This question keeps things slightly general before getting personal, which helps people ease in. Some group members may share personal experiences here — that's great. If things get heavy, affirm their honesty and remind the group that this is exactly why we're here.

4. The pastor shared a painful memory from his own youth group experience — asking an honest question and being met with shame instead of grace. Can you think of a time when you needed a blessing — an honest, affirming word — but received something more like a curse instead? What effect did that have on you?

[Leader Tip]: This is one of the more vulnerable questions in the guide. Give people time to think. Some may not want to share publicly, and that's okay. You might say: "You don't have to share the details — even just describing the feeling is helpful." Be ready to share something from your own experience to model openness.

5. The sermon offered this definition of blessing: "To bless is to behold something or someone — to tell the story, to give the good a name." And cursing, by contrast, is "giving a good thing shame." Using those definitions, who has been a "blesser" in your life? What did they do or say that made a difference?

THEME 3: Jesus, the Better David

The Gospel at the Center

6. The sermon traced a series of striking parallels between David's story and Jesus' story — the same road of shame, betrayal by a close companion, restraining a follower from violence, and ultimately being hung from a tree. Why do you think God designed the Old Testament stories to point forward to Jesus in this way? What does that do for how you read the Bible?

7. Pastor Frickie said: "Unlike David, Jesus would not escape the curse and the reproach of a Shimei. Jesus would become a curse for us." He was referencing Galatians 3:13, which says Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us. What does it mean to you personally that Jesus didn't just forgive your sin but actually became the curse — taking on the full weight of your shame?

[Leader Tip]: This is the theological heart of the sermon. For newer believers, it may help to briefly explain that in the ancient world, being cursed or shamed was considered devastating — it cut you off from community and dignity. Jesus absorbed all of that. For more mature believers, push toward the personal: "How does this change how you think about your own shame?"

THEME 4: Peter's Restoration

Redemptive Redo Moments

8. The story of Peter's restoration in John 21 is full of intentional details — a charcoal fire, breakfast by the beach, three questions mirroring three denials. Why do you think Jesus chose this setting and this approach rather than simply pulling Peter aside and saying, "I forgive you"? What does that tell us about how Jesus restores people?

9. The pastor said: "Jesus was not disillusioned with Peter because he had never had any illusions about him." How does it change your relationship with Jesus to know that he already knows the worst about you — and chose you anyway?

10. The sermon described "redemptive redo moments" — situations God places in our lives that mirror past moments of failure or shame, giving us a chance to respond differently this time. Have you ever experienced something like that? What happened?

[Leader Tip]: This question often produces some of the richest sharing in the group. Be patient with silence — people may need a moment to identify these moments in their own story. If the group is stuck, you can offer an example: a person who grew up with an absent father finding a mentor, or someone who failed in a friendship getting a chance to show up differently for someone else.

PERSONAL APPLICATION

(10–15 minutes)

These questions are for quieter, more personal reflection. You may want to give people 2–3 minutes of silence to think before inviting sharing — or let people respond in pairs rather than to the whole group.

1. The pastor offered four practical responses to this message:

• Recognize redemptive redo moments — notice when God is giving you a second chance
• Come to Jesus and let him speak to you — open your Bible and journal with expectation
• Allow yourself to grieve — don't rush past the pain
• Find a circle of people who aren't afraid of your shame — community that can hold your story

Which of these four feels most needed in your life right now, and why?

2. Is there an area of your life where you've been carrying shame — something you've been too afraid to bring to Jesus or to a trusted friend? What would it look like to take one small step toward bringing that into the light this week?

3. Think about the people in your life — family, friends, coworkers, neighbors. Who might need a "blessing" from you right now — someone to "behold them and give the good a name"? What might that look like in a concrete, specific way?

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Choose one of the following to practice before your group meets again:

• 📖 Read John 21:1–19 slowly and prayerfully. Put yourself in Peter's shoes. Write down what you notice about how Jesus restores him.
• ✍️ Journal about a moment of shame from your past. Then write what you believe Jesus would say to you about that moment — based on what you know of his character from Scripture.
• 🗣️ Bless someone this week. Find one person — a child, a spouse, a friend, a coworker — and take the time to tell them specifically what you see in them that is good, brave, or beautiful.
• 🤝 Reach out to one person you trust and take a small step toward honest conversation about something you've been carrying alone.
• 🙏 Pray the prayer from Ephesians 3:17–19 every day this week — for yourself and for someone else in your group.

PRAYER FOCUS

(5–10 minutes)

Close your time together by praying for one another. Here are some suggested prayer topics drawn from the sermon:

• For those carrying shame: Pray that God would make his love feel real and personal — not just a theological fact, but something felt "in the bones."
• For redemptive redo moments: Ask God to make your group members alert to the second chances he places in their path, and courageous enough to respond differently.
• For the church community: Pray that One Harbor would be a place where people experience blessing, not cursing — where honest questions are met with grace.
• For those who are grieving: The sermon mentioned Donnie and Jill and their family. Pray for those in your group or community who are walking through loss right now.
• For those not yet following Jesus: Pray for people in your lives who haven't yet encountered the one "the table is all about."

Consider closing with this prayer from Ephesians 3:17–19, read aloud together or by the leader:

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

For Groups Wanting to Go Further

1. The sermon included a striking story from South Africa about a man who was forced to ride in the back of a truck while the boss's dog rode in the front — and how years later, friends gave him that same model truck and said, "You're the driver now." How does this story illuminate what God does for us in Jesus? In what ways does the gospel "reverse the curse" — not just forgiving us, but restoring our dignity?

2. Read Galatians 3:10–14. Paul writes that "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us — for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree.'" How does understanding the shame dimension of crucifixion (not just the pain, but the public disgrace) deepen your understanding of what Jesus went through for you?

Galatians 3:10–14 (ESV): "For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, 'Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.' Now it is evident that no one is justified before God by the law, for 'The righteous shall live by faith.' But the law is not of faith, rather 'The one who does them shall live by them.' Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us — for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree' — so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith."

3. The sermon mentioned the theological word expiation — the idea that in Christ, we don't just know we are clean, we can feel it. Why do you think so many Christians live with the intellectual knowledge of forgiveness but still carry shame emotionally? What role do community, beauty, and "redo moments" play in moving forgiveness from the head to the heart?

RELATED SCRIPTURES FOR FURTHER STUDY

FACILITATOR CHECKLIST

Before your group meets, take a few minutes to:

• Read through the full guide and select which questions fit your group best
• Read 2 Samuel 16:5–14 and John 21:1–19 in full
• Pray for each person in your group by name
• Identify 1–2 questions you'll start with and 1–2 you'll prioritize if time is short
• Think about your own answer to at least 2 of the discussion questions — be ready to share
• Have a plan for anyone who may share something heavy (know who to follow up with or refer to pastoral care)
• Bring the "This Week's Challenge" to a close by encouraging everyone to choose one thing before you dismiss

"Jesus was not disillusioned with Peter because he had never had any illusions about him." — Pastor Frickie

One Harbor Church | Small Group Resources | Series: Desiring the King Questions? Contact your group coach or the church office.