This small group deep study guide draws directly from Church of the Springs's sermon “Church of the Springs Livestream” so you can keep engaging with the message all week. Read, reflect, and share it with your small group or friends.
TABLE TALK: THE NEW COMMAND OF LOVE
A Deep Study Guide for Small Groups
Based on John 13:31-35 | Series: Table Talk (Week 1)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." — John 13:34-35 (ESV)
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDE
This deep study guide is designed for small groups who want to move beyond surface-level discussion into serious engagement with the biblical text, theological concepts, and transformative application. Each section builds on the previous one, so groups are encouraged to work through the material sequentially. You will not likely complete every question in a single session — that is intentional. Select the questions most relevant to your group's needs and save others for personal study or future gatherings.
Recommended Session Format:
- Opening Prayer & Worship (10 minutes)
- Context & Background (10 minutes — leader-led)
- Scripture Reading & Observation (10 minutes)
- Discussion Questions (40-50 minutes)
- Application & Commitment (10 minutes)
- Closing Prayer (5 minutes)
PART ONE: SETTING THE SCENE
Historical, Literary, and Theological Context
The Upper Room: Understanding the Setting
John 13 takes place in what is traditionally called the Upper Room (Greek: anagaion), the location of Jesus's final Passover meal with His disciples. This was not a casual dinner. The Passover meal was the most sacred annual observance in Jewish life, commemorating Israel's deliverance from Egypt (Exodus 12). Every element of the meal — the lamb, the bitter herbs, the unleavened bread, the cups of wine — was thick with theological meaning about redemption, sacrifice, and covenant.
Jesus deliberately chose this setting for His final intimate teaching. He was not merely sharing a meal. He was reframing the entire Passover narrative around Himself as the true Passover Lamb (1 Corinthians 5:7), and He was using these final hours to impart the essential DNA of His Kingdom movement to the eleven men who would carry it forward.
Key elements of the setting to understand:
The timing: This meal took place the night before the crucifixion. Within 24 hours, Jesus would be dead. He knew this (John 13:1, 3). His words in the Upper Room were not casual conversation — they were the carefully chosen final words of a man who knew exactly what was coming.
The crisis of Judas: John 13:21-30 records the departure of Judas Iscariot to betray Jesus. The intimate conversation of John 13:31-17:26 begins only after Judas leaves. This is theologically significant. Jesus's most intimate final teachings — about love, the Holy Spirit, the vine and branches, prayer, and unity — were reserved for those who were truly His disciples.
The foot-washing: Immediately before this passage (John 13:1-17), Jesus had washed the disciples' feet — a task reserved for the lowest household servant. This was not merely a lesson in humility. It was a living parable of the entire gospel: the King becoming a servant, the Lord stooping to cleanse the unclean. The new commandment to love flows directly out of this demonstration. Jesus is saying, in effect: "What you just watched me do — that is what I mean by love."
The disciples' condition: Luke 22:24 tells us that even at this final meal, the disciples were arguing about who among them was greatest. Jesus's teaching on love lands against this backdrop of rivalry, pride, and self-promotion. The command to love one another was not abstract theology — it was a direct corrective to what was happening in the room.
The Structure of John 13:31-35
This short passage is one of the most theologically dense in the Gospel of John. Notice its careful structure:
| Verse | Content | Theological Theme |
|---|---|---|
| 13:31-32 | Jesus speaks of glorification | The Cross as Glory |
| 13:33 | Jesus announces His departure | The Transition of Mission |
| 13:34a | The New Commandment announced | The Standard of Love |
| 13:34b | The Source of the Love | Christ as the Model |
| 13:35 | The Purpose of the Love | Witness to the World |
Notice that Jesus moves from His own glorification through the cross (vv. 31-32), to the transition of His mission to the disciples (v. 33), to the primary command that will define that mission (vv. 34-35). The new commandment is not disconnected from the cross — it flows directly from it.
"Now Is the Son of Man Glorified" — Understanding John's Theology of Glory
One of the most striking aspects of John's Gospel is his treatment of the crucifixion as glorification rather than humiliation. In John 13:31-32, Jesus says four times in rapid succession that the Son of Man is "glorified" and that God is "glorified in him."
In the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke), the cross is often presented in terms of suffering and darkness. John presents it differently. For John, the cross is the supreme moment of divine self-disclosure — the moment when the full character of God (love, sacrifice, grace) is most completely revealed to humanity.
The Greek word for "glorified" here is edoxasthe (from doxa, glory). In the Old Testament, the kavod (glory) of God was the weighty, tangible presence and character of God made visible. When Jesus says He is glorified through the cross, He is saying: This is where you will see most clearly who God really is.
This directly sets up the new commandment. If the cross is the supreme revelation of God's glory, and if God's glory is fundamentally love expressed in sacrifice, then the command to love one another is a command to reflect that glory in community.
PART TWO: DEEP SCRIPTURE STUDY
Exegesis and Word Study
Text: John 13:31-35 (ESV)
When he had gone out, Jesus said, "Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once. Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, 'Where I am going you cannot come.' A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Word Study: The Four Greek Words for Love
The sermon rightly identified the critical importance of the Greek word agape in this passage. Here is a more complete picture of the four primary Greek words for love and why Jesus's choice matters:
1. Eros (ἔρως) Romantic, passionate love. Interestingly, this word does not appear in the New Testament, though the concept is addressed (e.g., Song of Solomon in the OT). It is primarily self-motivated — love that seeks its own satisfaction and pleasure.
2. Storge (στοργή) Natural familial affection — the love between parents and children, siblings, or those who share a bond through proximity and shared life. It is the love of belonging and familiarity. Paul uses a negated form of this word (astorgos — "without natural affection") in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy 3:3 to describe the moral decay of those who have rejected God.
3. Philia (φιλία) Friendship love — a warm, reciprocal affection between people who share common values, experiences, and enjoyment of each other. Jesus uses this word when He calls the disciples "friends" in John 15:13-15. It is a beautiful word, but it is fundamentally conditional — it depends on mutual enjoyment and reciprocity.
4. Agape (ἀγάπη) This is the word Jesus uses in John 13:34-35, and it appears three times in these two verses. Agape is the love that chooses to give regardless of the worthiness of the recipient. It is not primarily an emotion but a decision — a commitment to act for the good of another at cost to oneself. It is the word used in John 3:16 ("For God so loved the world"), Romans 5:8 ("God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us"), and throughout 1 Corinthians 13.
Why does Jesus use agape rather than philia?
This is the critical exegetical question. The disciples were already practicing philia to some degree — they had traveled together, eaten together, ministered together for three and a half years. Jesus is not asking them to simply be friends. He is calling them to something categorically different: a love that does not depend on feelings, reciprocity, or the lovability of the other person. He is calling them to a love that mirrors God's own love — unconditional, sacrificial, and inexhaustible.
Word Study: "New" (Kainos vs. Neos)
Jesus calls this "a new commandment." The Greek word used here is kainos (καινός), not neos (νέος). This distinction is important:
- Neos means new in terms of time — something recently created, chronologically recent.
- Kainos means new in terms of quality — something fresh, of a different and superior kind, belonging to a new order.
Jesus is not saying this commandment was recently invented. He is saying it represents a qualitatively different standard — a new order of love that transcends what had come before. The Leviticus 19:18 command ("love your neighbor as yourself") was not abolished; it was upgraded. The new standard is not "as yourself" but "as I have loved you."
This is consistent with how Jesus uses kainos elsewhere:
- "New wine" in new wineskins (Mark 2:22)
- The "new covenant" in His blood (Luke 22:20)
- Making "all things new" (Revelation 21:5)
In each case, kainos signals a new era, a new quality of existence, a new order of things inaugurated by Christ.
The Leviticus Standard vs. The Jesus Standard
The sermon made an important theological point about the upgrade from Leviticus 19:18 to John 13:34. This deserves deeper examination.
Leviticus 19:18: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
This commandment, which Jesus calls the second greatest commandment (Matthew 22:39), establishes a minimum standard: your love for others should be at least as consistent as your love for yourself. The problem, as the sermon noted, is that you become the standard. Your love for yourself is the measuring stick — and that standard is inconsistent, conditional, and self-referential.
John 13:34: "Love one another as I have loved you."
Jesus replaces the self-referential standard with a Christocentric standard. Now the measuring stick is not how well you love yourself — it is how completely, sacrificially, and unconditionally Christ loves you. This is not a minor adjustment. It is a complete reorientation of the source, standard, and motivation for love.
Consider the implications:
- The Leviticus standard allows for bad days — if you're not loving yourself well, you can love others poorly and technically stay within the standard.
- The Jesus standard has no bad days — because Christ's love for us never wavers, we have a constant, inexhaustible standard to draw from.
- The Leviticus standard is self-generated — you produce the love from within yourself.
- The Jesus standard is received and then given — you love out of the overflow of what you have received from Christ.
This is the theological foundation of 1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us." Love is not self-generated. It is received and then released.
"By This All People Will Know" — The Apologetic Function of Love
John 13:35 contains one of the most striking and challenging claims in the New Testament: the primary evidence that someone belongs to Jesus is not their doctrine, their church attendance, their spiritual gifts, or their moral behavior — it is their love for other believers.
The word translated "know" here is gnosontai (from ginosko) — a word that in Greek implies deep, experiential, relational knowledge, not merely intellectual awareness. Jesus is saying that the world will come to know — through direct observation — that His disciples belong to Him by the quality of love they demonstrate toward one another.
Francis Schaeffer, quoted in the sermon, developed this idea extensively in his 1970 book The Mark of the Christian. His argument deserves careful consideration:
"The world is watching. And it has a right to watch... The church is to be a loving church in a dying world. This is the ultimate apologetic."
Schaeffer argued that Christian community — specifically, the observable love within the church — functions as the final and most compelling argument for the truth of the gospel. When the world sees Christians genuinely loving one another across divisions of race, class, personality, and preference, it becomes evidence that something supernatural is at work.
Conversely, when the church is marked by division, infighting, gossip, and cold indifference, it becomes a counter-testimony — an argument against the gospel.
PART THREE: THEOLOGICAL DEEP DIVE
Key Doctrines Emerging from This Passage
1. The Theology of Divine Love (Agape Theologia)
The sermon introduced the concept that God's love (agape) is the primary theme of the entire Bible. This is not an overstatement. Consider the biblical arc:
- Creation: God creates out of the overflow of His loving nature, not out of need (Genesis 1-2).
- The Fall: God's first response to human rebellion is a promise of redemption, not abandonment (Genesis 3:15).
- The Covenant: God pursues Israel with persistent, covenant-keeping love (hesed in Hebrew — steadfast love, lovingkindness) even through repeated unfaithfulness (Hosea 11:1-9).
- The Incarnation: "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son" (John 3:16).
- The Cross: The supreme expression of agape — love that gives everything at ultimate cost (Romans 5:8).
- The Resurrection: Love that is stronger than death (Romans 8:38-39).
- The Church: A community formed by and defined by that love (Ephesians 5:25-27).
- The Consummation: The marriage supper of the Lamb — love fully realized in eternal union (Revelation 19:6-9).
The new commandment in John 13:34 is not an isolated ethical instruction. It is a call to participate in and reflect the central reality of the universe: God is love (1 John 4:8, 16).
2. The Indwelling Spirit as the Source of Agape Love
The sermon touched on this briefly, but it deserves fuller treatment. How is it possible for fallen human beings to love with agape love? The answer lies in the doctrine of the Holy Spirit's indwelling.
Romans 5:5 states: "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
The Greek word for "poured" (ekcheo) is the same word used for the outpouring of the Spirit at Pentecost (Acts 2:17-18). It suggests abundance, overflow, lavish generosity. God does not give us a small, measured dose of His love. He pours it out into us through the Spirit.
This means that agape love is not primarily a human achievement — it is a supernatural fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 lists love (agape) as the first fruit of the Spirit, suggesting it is the foundational quality from which all other spiritual fruit flows.
The practical implication is profound: we cannot love this way by trying harder. We love this way by staying connected to the source. This is why Jesus, in the very next teaching in John 15, introduces the metaphor of the vine and the branches: "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me" (John 15:4).
The command to love one another (John 13:34) and the call to abide in Christ (John 15:4) are inseparable. You cannot fulfill the first without practicing the second.
3. Love as the Fulfillment of the Law
The sermon referenced Galatians 6 and the concept of carrying one another's burdens as fulfilling "the law of Christ." This connects to a broader New Testament theme: love as the fulfillment of all moral obligation.
Romans 13:8-10: "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,' and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
Paul's argument is that agape love, when genuinely practiced, naturally fulfills every specific moral commandment. You cannot truly love someone and simultaneously steal from them, lie to them, or harm them. Love is not a replacement for moral instruction — it is the source from which moral behavior flows.
This is why Jesus could summarize the entire Law and Prophets in two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40): love God and love neighbor. These are not simplifications — they are the roots from which all other moral obligations grow.
4. The Ecclesiological Significance: What Kind of Church Does This Produce?
The sermon made a bold and challenging statement: the church is often known more for who it opposes than for its love. This is an ecclesiological crisis — a crisis of what the church is and does.
The New Testament vision of the church (ekklesia — the called-out assembly) is fundamentally a community of agape love:
- Acts 2:42-47: The early church was characterized by fellowship (koinonia), sharing possessions, meeting needs, and eating together with joy.
- Ephesians 4:1-3: The church is called to maintain unity "in the bond of peace" through humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with one another in love.
- 1 Peter 4:8: "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
- Hebrews 10:24-25: Christians are to "stir up one another to love and good works," not abandoning gathering together.
The church is not primarily a doctrinal institution (though doctrine matters), a political force (though Christians engage culture), or an entertainment venue (though worship is joyful). It is, at its core, a love community — a visible demonstration of what human relationships look like when they are reordered around the love of God.
PART FOUR: CROSS-REFERENCES AND RELATED PASSAGES
A Biblical Theology of Love
Study these passages alongside John 13:31-35 for a fuller picture:
On the Nature of Agape Love:
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 — The "love chapter" — a detailed description of what agape looks like in practice
- Romans 5:6-8 — God's love demonstrated while we were still sinners
- 1 John 4:7-21 — John's mature theological reflection on love (written decades after the Upper Room)
- John 3:16 — The foundational statement of God's agape for the world
On Love as the Mark of Discipleship:
- John 15:9-17 — Jesus's extended teaching on love and friendship in the vine/branches discourse
- Matthew 22:34-40 — The Greatest Commandment
- Romans 13:8-10 — Love as the fulfillment of the law
- Galatians 5:13-14 — Freedom used to serve one another in love
On the Command to Love One Another:
- John 15:12, 17 — Jesus repeats the command in the vine discourse
- Romans 12:9-21 — Practical expressions of genuine love in community
- Ephesians 4:1-16 — Love as the foundation of church unity
- Colossians 3:12-14 — Putting on love as the bond of perfection
- 1 Peter 1:22 — Sincere brotherly love from a pure heart
On Loving the Difficult:
- Matthew 5:43-48 — Love for enemies
- Luke 10:25-37 — The Good Samaritan (love across social barriers)
- Romans 12:14-21 — Blessing those who persecute you
On the Source of Our Love:
- Romans 5:5 — Love poured into our hearts by the Spirit
- Galatians 5:22-23 — Love as the fruit of the Spirit
- 1 John 4:19 — We love because He first loved us
- 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 — The love of Christ compels us
On Love and the Witness of the Church:
- John 17:20-23 — Jesus's prayer for unity as witness
- Acts 2:42-47 — The early church's love as a drawing force
- 1 John 3:16-18 — Practical love as proof of genuine faith
PART FIVE: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
For Deep Small Group Study
Note to Group Leaders: These questions are organized from observation → interpretation → application → transformation. Not all questions need to be addressed in one session. Select those most relevant to your group.
Section A: Observation and Comprehension
Read John 13:31-35 aloud as a group. What are the three main things Jesus does in this short passage: (1) what He announces about Himself, (2) what He tells the disciples about the immediate future, and (3) what He commands them to do? Why do you think John placed these three things together?
Notice that Jesus calls the disciples "little children" (teknia in Greek) in verse 33. This is a term John uses frequently in his first epistle (1 John 2:1, 12, 28; 3:7, 18; 4:4; 5:21). What does this term communicate about the nature of Jesus's relationship with His disciples? How does this relational intimacy connect to the command that follows?
The sermon pointed out that Judas had to leave before Jesus gave this intimate teaching. Read John 13:27-30 for context. Why is the departure of Judas significant as the trigger for this teaching? What does this suggest about the nature of the community to which this command is given?
Jesus says the world will "know" (Greek: ginosko) that we are His disciples by our love. What kind of knowledge is this? Is He describing intellectual recognition, experiential observation, or something else? What does this suggest about the visibility of Christian love?
Section B: Interpretation and Theological Reflection
The sermon drew a careful distinction between philia (friendship love) and agape (sacrificial, unconditional love). Why does this distinction matter practically? In what ways might a Christian community that only practices philia fall short of what Jesus commands here? Can you think of specific examples from church life where the difference becomes apparent?
Jesus says the commandment is "new" (kainos — fresh, of a new quality). We established that the command to love existed in Leviticus 19:18. What specifically is new about Jesus's version? Consider these three dimensions: (a) the source of the love, (b) the standard of the love, and (c) the motivation for the love. How does each of these differ from the Leviticus standard?
The sermon made the provocative statement that the opposite of love is not hate but selfishness. Evaluate this theologically. Do you agree? How does this reframing change how we diagnose the problem of lovelessness in the church? Does 1 Corinthians 13 support or complicate this idea?
Read 1 John 4:7-12 carefully. John argues that "anyone who does not love does not know God" (v. 8). This is a strong statement. What is John's theological basis for this claim? How does this connect to his statement that "God is love" (v. 8, 16)? What are the implications for how we assess genuine Christian conversion?
The sermon referenced Francis Schaeffer's claim that "Christian community is the final apologetic." Unpack this statement. What is Schaeffer arguing? Do you agree that observable love within the church is more persuasive to the watching world than arguments for Christianity's truth? What are the strengths and weaknesses of this claim?
John 17:20-23 records Jesus praying for the unity of all future believers "so that the world may believe that you have sent me." How does this prayer relate to the new commandment in John 13:34-35? What is the connection between Christian unity, Christian love, and Christian witness? What does it mean that Jesus prayed for us specifically about this?
Section C: Deeper Theological Exploration
Romans 5:5 says that "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit." If the Holy Spirit is the source of agape love in us, what are the practical implications for how we pursue love? Is it primarily about effort and discipline, or primarily about connection and surrender? How do you hold these in balance?
The sermon described love as a "command" and argued that God only commands what He has equipped us to do. Examine this principle more broadly. Can you think of other divine commands that follow this pattern — where the command itself implies that God has provided the capacity to obey? What does this reveal about the nature of God's commands in general?
Consider the relationship between the foot-washing in John 13:1-17 and the new commandment in John 13:34-35. The foot-washing is an acted parable of love; the commandment is the verbal articulation of love. How do these two work together? What does the foot-washing teach us about the form that agape love takes in practice?
The sermon noted that 1 John is sometimes called "the book of love" and connected John's emphasis on love to his memory of the Upper Room. Read 1 John 3:16-18 and compare it to John 13:34-35. What has John learned about love in the decades between the Upper Room and the writing of his epistle? How has his understanding deepened or become more practical?
The sermon made a strong statement: "If you're disconnected from the love that God has for you, you can't love others." Evaluate this claim theologically and experientially. Is it possible to perform acts of love without genuinely receiving God's love? What is the difference between performing love and overflowing with love? How does this relate to Jesus's warning in Matthew 7:22-23 about those who do many works in His name but are not known by Him?
Section D: Application for Mature Believers
The sermon challenged us to evaluate ourselves not by how many people love us, but by how well we love others. This is a significant reorientation for a culture saturated with social media metrics and personal branding. Honestly assess your own life: What has been your primary metric for relational success? How would your daily choices change if love-given replaced love-received as your primary measure?
The sermon observed that the church is often known more for its opposition than its love, and that there are approximately 47,000 Christian denominations — many born out of conflict rather than conviction. How do you personally contribute to or detract from the unity and love of your local church? Are there specific relationships within your church community where you have withheld agape love and substituted distance, indifference, or criticism?
The new commandment establishes Christ's love as the standard for how we love others. Practically, this means asking: "How does God love me? And am I loving this person that way?" Work through the following attributes of God's love (drawn from the sermon and 1 Corinthians 13) and identify where you are most deficient:
- Sacrificially — Am I willing to give up my comfort, time, or preferences for this person?
- Patiently — Do I extend the same patience to others that God extends to me?
- Generously — Do I give freely, or do I calculate what I'll get in return?
- Unconditionally — Does my love for this person depend on their behavior or agreement with me?
- Graciously — Am I as quick to forgive others as I am to ask God to forgive me?
The sermon drew attention to the danger of "echo chambers" — surrounding ourselves only with people who agree with us on every point. How does this tendency undermine agape love? In what specific ways might God be calling you to love across lines of difference — theological, political, cultural, or personal — within your own church community?
Read 1 John 3:16-18 again: "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." John argues that love must be expressed in material generosity. How does this challenge a purely emotional or relational understanding of love? What specific, concrete action of love is God calling you to take this week?
Section E: Transformational Questions
During the sermon, the pastor invited the congregation to close their eyes and ask the Holy Spirit to show them someone they need to love — and warned that it might be someone difficult. Take a moment now, in the group, to reflect on that question. Without necessarily naming the person, consider: What has held you back from loving them with agape love? What would it look like to take a concrete step toward them this week?
The sermon closed with a powerful challenge around communion: we readily receive God's forgiveness, patience, grace, and generosity, but we struggle to give those same things to others. Where is the greatest gap in your life between what you receive from God and what you extend to others? What spiritual disciplines or practices might help close that gap?
Francis Schaeffer wrote: "We cannot expect the world to believe that the Father sent the Son, that Jesus' claims are true, and that Christianity is true, unless the world sees some reality of the oneness of true Christians." Given this, how would you honestly assess your church community's witness to the watching world? What is one specific, actionable change — in your own behavior or in the group's life together — that would strengthen that witness?
PART SIX: PERSONAL STUDY AND REFLECTION
For Individual Use Between Sessions
Daily Scripture Meditation (One Week)
Use these passages for daily reflection, journaling, and prayer:
| Day | Passage | Focus Question |
|---|---|---|
| Monday | John 13:31-35 | What does "as I have loved you" mean for one specific relationship in my life today? |
| Tuesday | 1 John 4:7-21 | What is the connection between knowing God and loving others? Where am I not knowing God well? |
| Wednesday | 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 | Which attribute of love in this passage is most lacking in me? What would it look like to grow in that area? |
| Thursday | John 15:9-17 | How does "abiding" in Christ's love relate to my ability to love others? Am I abiding? |
| Friday | Romans 12:9-21 | Pick one specific instruction from this passage and practice it intentionally today. |
| Saturday | Ephesians 3:14-21 | Pray Paul's prayer for yourself and for your church — that you would be "rooted and grounded in love." |
| Sunday | John 17:20-26 | Reflect on the fact that Jesus prayed this prayer for you. How does knowing He prays for your unity with other believers change how you approach your church community? |
Journaling Prompts for Personal Reflection
Write out a description of how God has loved you — specifically, personally, and concretely. What moments in your life have you most clearly felt or understood His agape love? How does remembering these moments fuel your love for others?
Identify three people in your life who are genuinely difficult for you to love with agape love. For each person, write: (a) what makes them difficult to love, (b) how God loves you in similar ways to how you need to love them, and (c) one specific act of love you could extend to them.
Write an honest assessment of your church community's love. Where is it strong? Where is it weak? What is your personal contribution — positive or negative — to the love culture of your church?
The sermon said: "We don't get to hold grudges. We don't get to withhold forgiveness." Are there grudges or withheld forgiveness in your life right now? Write an honest prayer about those, asking God to give you the grace to release them.
PART SEVEN: PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Concrete Steps for Living the New Commandment
For Individual Application:
This Week:
- Identify one person in your church community you have been avoiding, judging, or treating with indifference. Pray specifically for them daily this week — not that they would change, but that God would bless them and give you genuine love for them.
- Practice one tangible act of agape love toward someone who is difficult for you — someone who has not earned it and may not reciprocate it.
This Month:
- Memorize John 13:34-35 and 1 John 4:19. Let these verses become the lens through which you evaluate your relationships.
- Read Francis Schaeffer's The Mark of the Christian (a short booklet, available free online). Reflect on how his vision of Christian community challenges your own.
Ongoing Practices:
- Begin each day by asking: "Lord, who do you want me to love today, and how?"
- End each day by asking: "Did I love anyone today as you have loved me? Where did I fall short? How do I need your grace?"
- Evaluate your church involvement not by what you receive but by what you give — specifically in terms of love, service, and presence.
For Group Application:
As a Small Group:
- Identify one person or family in your church community who is on the margins — lonely, struggling, or overlooked — and make a collective commitment to love them intentionally and practically over the next month.
- Create a "love covenant" for your small group: a simple, written commitment to practice agape love toward one another — specifically naming what that will look like in terms of honesty, forgiveness, generosity, and bearing one another's burdens.
- Pray together for the unity and love of your local church, using John 17:20-23 as your prayer guide.
PART EIGHT: RESOURCES FOR FURTHER STUDY
Books for Deeper Study
On Love in Scripture and Theology:
- The Four Loves — C.S. Lewis (A classic exploration of the four types of love; accessible and profound)
- Love, the Ultimate Apologetic — Art Lindsley (Develops Schaeffer's ideas for contemporary application)
- The Mark of the Christian — Francis Schaeffer (Short but essential; freely available online)
- Sacred Companions — David Benner (On the role of love in spiritual formation and community)
On John's Gospel:
- The Gospel of John (NICNT) — Leon Morris (Scholarly but accessible commentary)
- John (Baker Exegetical Commentary) — Andreas Köstenberger (Rigorous exegesis)
- The Gospel According to John — D.A. Carson (Excellent theological depth; highly recommended)
On Christian Community and the Church:
- Life Together — Dietrich Bonhoeffer (A profound meditation on Christian community; essential reading)
- The Body — Charles Colson (On the nature and mission of the church)
- A Praying Life — Paul Miller (On maintaining the relational connection with God that fuels love for others)
On Agape Love in Practice:
- The Meaning of Marriage — Timothy Keller (Applies agape love to the most intimate human relationship)
- Everybody Always — Bob Goff (Accessible, story-driven exploration of loving difficult people)
For Word Study and Exegesis:
- Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words — W.E. Vine
- Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (Kittel) — for agape, kainos, ginosko
- Strong's Concordance with Greek lexicon
- BibleHub.com or Logos Bible Software for interlinear study
Sermon Series Connection:
This study is the first in the Table Talk series, exploring Jesus's final intimate conversation with His disciples in John 13-17. Upcoming weeks will likely explore:
- The promise of the Holy Spirit (John 14)
- The vine and the branches — abiding as the source of love (John 15)
- The world's hatred and the disciples' mission (John 16)
- Jesus's High Priestly Prayer for unity (John 17)
Each of these teachings flows from and deepens the new commandment of John 13:34-35. As you study subsequent weeks, keep returning to this foundational command: "Love one another as I have loved you."
CLOSING PRAYER FOR YOUR GROUP
Use this prayer to close your study session:
Father, we come to You as those who have received Your love — poured out for us at infinite cost through the sacrifice of Your Son. We confess that we have often loved poorly: inconsistently, conditionally, selfishly, and superficially. We have settled for friendship when You called us to sacrifice. We have loved ourselves as the standard when You called us to love as You have loved us.
Today, we receive again the depth of Your agape love for us. And we ask You to do what only You can do: fill us with a love that is beyond ourselves, a love that comes from You and flows through us to others. Give us the courage to love the difficult, the patience to love the inconsistent, the generosity to love the undeserving — because that is how You have loved us.
May our love for one another be so visible, so genuine, and so inexplicable that the watching world sees in us the invisible God. May our church community be marked above all else by love — not the love we generate, but the love You pour into us through Your Spirit.
Little children, love one another. Yes, Lord. We will. In Jesus's name. Amen.
"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." — Jesus, John 13:35
Guide Prepared for: Table Talk Series, Week 1 Primary Text: John 13:31-35 Supporting Texts: 1 John 3:16-18; 1 John 4:7-21; 1 Corinthians 13:1-13; John 17:20-23 Series Context: A study within the Gospel of John
This guide is intended for educational and devotional use within local church communities. All scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version (ESV) unless otherwise noted.