This small group deep study guide draws directly from Church of the Springs's sermon “Love One Another” so you can keep engaging with the message all week. Read, reflect, and share it with your small group or friends.
TABLE TALK: THE NEW COMMAND
A Deep Study Guide for Small Groups
Based on John 13:31-35 | Series: Table Talk (Week 1)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." — John 13:34-35 (ESV)
HOW TO USE THIS GUIDE
This guide is designed for groups that want to go beyond surface-level discussion into the deeper waters of biblical theology and personal transformation. Each section builds on the previous one, moving from understanding the text to theological reflection to personal and communal application. Plan for approximately 90–120 minutes of discussion, or divide the material across two sessions. Leaders should read the entire guide before the meeting and select questions appropriate for their group's depth and maturity.
PART ONE: SETTING THE TABLE
Historical and Literary Context
The Upper Room: Understanding the Setting
The events of John 13 take place in what is traditionally called the Upper Room — a triclinium (formal dining room) in Jerusalem, likely borrowed from a sympathetic host. Jesus and his disciples have gathered for the Passover meal, the annual Jewish celebration of God's deliverance of Israel from Egyptian bondage (Exodus 12). The timing is theologically loaded: Jesus, the true Passover Lamb (1 Corinthians 5:7), is sharing his final meal on the eve of his own sacrificial death.
The Gospel of John devotes five full chapters (13–17) to this single evening — more than any other event in Jesus's ministry outside of the crucifixion and resurrection narratives. This proportion alone signals how critical John considered this final conversation. Scholars often call these chapters the "Farewell Discourse" or the "Upper Room Discourse" — Jesus's final, most intimate teaching to his inner circle.
Key timeline details:
- This is Thursday evening of Passion Week
- Within hours, Jesus will pray in Gethsemane (John 18:1)
- By Friday morning, he will stand before Pilate
- By Friday afternoon, he will be crucified
- The disciples do not yet know any of this
The departure of Judas (John 13:30) is the pivot point that opens this intimate conversation. The sermon rightly noted that Jesus's glorification language in verse 31 is triggered by Judas's exit. The "hour" that Jesus has spoken of throughout John's Gospel (2:4; 7:30; 8:20; 12:23) has now fully arrived. The first domino has fallen.
The Literary Structure of John 13:31-35
This short passage contains four distinct movements:
| Verses | Content | Theme |
|---|---|---|
| 31–32 | The Son of Man is glorified | Theological declaration |
| 33 | "Little children, yet a little while..." | Tender farewell |
| 34 | "A new commandment I give you..." | The command defined |
| 35 | "By this all people will know..." | The command's purpose |
Notice the progression: Glory → Departure → Command → Witness. Jesus frames the command to love within the context of his imminent glorification through death. This is not incidental. The cross is the ultimate demonstration of the love he is commanding them to replicate.
Who Is in the Room?
After Judas's departure, eleven disciples remain:
- Simon Peter — impulsive, passionate, soon to deny Jesus three times
- John — the beloved disciple, author of this Gospel
- James — John's brother, first apostle to be martyred (Acts 12:2)
- Andrew — Peter's brother
- Philip, Bartholomew (Nathanael), Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealot
This is a remarkably diverse group. Among them: a former tax collector (Matthew, a Roman collaborator), a political revolutionary (Simon the Zealot, who likely despised Roman collaborators), fishermen, and men of varying social standing. The command to love "one another" is first directed at this group — people who would have had natural reasons for conflict and division. The command to love is not issued to a homogeneous group of like-minded friends. It is issued to a community of profound difference.
PART TWO: DIGGING INTO THE TEXT
Verse-by-Verse Exegesis
John 13:31-32 — The Glorification of the Son
"When he had gone out, Jesus said, 'Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself, and glorify him at once.'"
Exegetical Notes:
The word "glorified" (Greek: edoxasthē, aorist passive of doxazō) appears five times in these two verses. This concentration is intentional. In John's Gospel, Jesus consistently connects his "glorification" not with triumph in the conventional sense, but with his death and resurrection (see John 12:23-24, 27-28; 17:1-5).
This is theologically radical. In the ancient world — Jewish and Greek alike — glory was associated with power, conquest, and public honor. Jesus redefines glory as self-giving sacrifice. The cross, the instrument of shame and execution, becomes the throne of glory.
The mutual glorification of Father and Son ("God is glorified in him... God will also glorify him in himself") reflects the deep Trinitarian theology woven throughout John's Gospel. The Son's obedient self-sacrifice glorifies the Father; the Father's vindication through resurrection glorifies the Son. They are not competitors for glory but co-participants in one divine act of redemptive love.
The phrase "at once" (euthys) carries a sense of immediacy and certainty. Jesus is not anxious about what is coming. He speaks of it as already accomplished in the divine purpose.
John 13:33 — "Little Children"
"Little children, yet a little while I am with you. You will seek me, and just as I said to the Jews, so now I also say to you, 'Where I am going you cannot come.'"
Exegetical Notes:
The address "little children" (Greek: teknia, a diminutive of teknon, "child") appears only here in the Gospel of John but becomes characteristic of John's first epistle (1 John 2:1, 12, 28; 3:7, 18; 4:4; 5:21). It is a term of profound tenderness and intimacy — a parent speaking to beloved children.
This address is significant for several reasons:
It levels the relational hierarchy. Jesus has just asserted his Lordship ("You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right," v.13). Now he speaks with the intimacy of a father. Authority and tenderness are not in tension in Jesus's leadership.
It anticipates the language of 1 John. The aged apostle writing decades later still uses this address, suggesting that the memory of Jesus's tenderness in the Upper Room shaped John's entire pastoral vocabulary.
It signals the brevity of Jesus's remaining time with them. "Yet a little while" — this is not a casual remark. Jesus is preparing them for the trauma of his departure. The same phrase (mikron) is used in John 14:19; 16:16-19 as Jesus prepares them for both his death and his return.
The reference to "where I am going you cannot come" echoes Jesus's earlier statement to the Jewish leaders (John 7:34; 8:21-22) — but with a crucial difference. To the religious leaders, this was a word of judgment. To the disciples, it is a word of temporary separation, not permanent exclusion. Peter will later ask about this (v.36), and Jesus's answer ("you will follow afterward") confirms that the separation is not final.
John 13:34 — The New Commandment
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."
Exegetical Notes:
This is arguably one of the most theologically dense sentences in the New Testament. Let us unpack each component.
"A New Commandment" — Why New?
The Greek word for "new" here is kainos — not neos (new in the sense of recently made) but kainos (new in the sense of fresh, unprecedented in quality). This distinction matters enormously.
The Old Testament command was: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). Jesus himself cited this as the second great commandment (Matthew 22:39). So what is genuinely new about this commandment?
The sermon identified the key difference precisely: the standard has changed.
| Old Command | New Command |
|---|---|
| Love your neighbor as yourself | Love one another as I have loved you |
| You are the source and measure | Christ is the source and measure |
| Human love as the benchmark | Divine love as the benchmark |
| Rooted in self-love | Rooted in received grace |
The newness is not the concept of love — Israel had always been called to love. The newness is the source, quality, and standard of that love. Jesus is raising the bar from the horizontal (love as you love yourself) to the vertical (love as God loves you).
There is also a redemptive-historical dimension to the newness. The "new commandment" is connected to the "new covenant" (Jeremiah 31:31-34; Luke 22:20), the "new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17), and the "new self" (Ephesians 4:24). This is not a minor adjustment to the old system. It is the inauguration of an entirely new order of existence made possible by the indwelling Holy Spirit.
"That You Love One Another" — The Greek Words for Love
The sermon gave an excellent overview of the Greek vocabulary of love. Let's go deeper:
The four Greek words for love:
- Eros — romantic, passionate love (not used in the New Testament)
- Storge (storgē) — familial affection, the instinctive love between parents and children (used in Romans 12:10 as philostorgos)
- Philia (philia) — friendship love, warm affection between companions (used frequently in John's Gospel — notably, Jesus is called a "friend" using this root in John 15:13-15)
- Agape (agapē) — the word used here; the highest form of love, characterized by unconditional commitment, self-sacrifice, and active goodwill regardless of merit
Why agape?
Agapē was actually a relatively rare word in classical Greek literature before the New Testament. The early Christians, under the inspiration of the Spirit, essentially redefined and elevated this word to carry the full weight of divine love. They needed a word that could bear the theological freight of God's love in Christ — and they chose agapē precisely because it was not already loaded with the cultural baggage of eros or even philia.
In the New Testament, agapē is characterized by:
- Volition over emotion — it is a choice, not merely a feeling
- Action over sentiment — it is demonstrated, not merely declared (1 John 3:18)
- Sacrifice over self-interest — it gives at cost to oneself
- Universality — it extends even to enemies (Matthew 5:44; Romans 5:8)
- Divine origin — it flows from God's nature (1 John 4:8)
Important note: This does not mean agape is cold or emotionless. Jesus wept (John 11:35). He was moved with compassion (Matthew 9:36). Agape includes emotional depth — but it is not controlled by emotion. It acts rightly regardless of how one feels.
"Just As I Have Loved You" — The Christological Standard
The phrase "just as I have loved you" (kathōs ēgapēsa hymas) is the revolutionary heart of this commandment. The word kathōs means "in the same manner as" or "to the degree that" — it is a standard of quality and method, not merely a vague comparison.
How has Jesus loved them?
As the disciples heard this phrase on that Thursday evening, they had witnessed three and a half years of Jesus's love in action:
- He had called them when they were ordinary, unqualified men
- He had taught them patiently through repeated misunderstanding
- He had provided for their needs (the feeding of the 5,000, the miraculous catch of fish)
- He had prayed for them (John 17)
- He had washed their feet — even Judas's feet — that very evening
But within hours, they would see the fullest expression of his love: the cross. The commandment is given on the eve of Calvary — and the cross retroactively becomes the ultimate definition of "just as I have loved you."
John 15:13 makes this explicit: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends."
Romans 5:8 extends it further: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
The standard is not merely affection. It is cruciform love — love shaped by the cross.
John 13:35 — The Witness of Love
"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Exegetical Notes:
Jesus makes a stunning claim here: the primary apologetic for the Christian faith is not argument, not miracle, not eloquence — it is the visible love of the Christian community for one another.
The phrase "all people will know" (gnōsontai pantes) is comprehensive and universal. The watching world — not just sympathetic observers, but all people — will be able to identify authentic disciples of Jesus by their love for one another.
Notice the specificity: "love for one another" — not love for the world in general (though that follows), but love within the community of faith. Jesus is saying: get the internal culture right first. The community of disciples is to be a visible demonstration of a new kind of human society — one ordered by agape rather than competition, status, and self-interest.
Francis Schaeffer, quoted in the sermon, wrote extensively about this in The Mark of the Christian (1970):
"The world has a right to look at us and make a judgment. If I say I am a Christian, the world has a right to look at me and see if there is something different. If there is not, then my claim is hollow."
This is both a profound privilege and a sobering responsibility. The church's internal life is not a private matter — it is a public testimony.
PART THREE: THEOLOGICAL DEEP DIVE
Key Doctrines and Themes
Theme 1: The Theology of Agape — Love as the Nature of God
The sermon touched on 1 John 4:8: "God is love." This is one of the most profound theological statements in all of Scripture, and it deserves careful unpacking.
"God is love" does not mean:
- Love is God (a reversal that makes love itself the ultimate reality)
- God is merely loving (as one attribute among many)
- God's love is sentimental or indulgent
"God is love" means:
- Love is not something God does but something God is — it is essential to his nature
- The eternal, interpersonal love between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the ground of all love
- When God commands us to love, he is commanding us to participate in his own nature (2 Peter 1:4)
Trinitarian foundation: Before creation, before time, love already existed — not as an abstraction, but as the dynamic relationship between the persons of the Trinity. The Father loved the Son (John 17:24); the Son loved the Father (John 14:31); the Spirit proceeds from this love. Creation, redemption, and sanctification are all expressions of this eternal love overflowing outward.
This is why John can say both "God is love" (1 John 4:8) and "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Love flows from the character of God, into us through the Spirit, and back outward toward others. We are not the source — we are conduits.
Theme 2: The Command to Love — Grace and Obligation
The fact that love is commanded raises a profound theological question: Can love be commanded? Is commanded love genuine love?
The tension:
- If love is commanded, does it not become mere duty, stripped of authentic feeling?
- If love is not commanded, does it not become optional — something we do only when we feel like it?
The resolution:
The commands of God in Scripture are never bare obligations divorced from grace. Every command is embedded in a covenant relationship. Notice the structure of the Ten Commandments: they begin not with "You shall" but with "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery" (Exodus 20:2). The indicative (what God has done) always precedes the imperative (what we are to do).
The same structure governs the new commandment:
- Indicative: "Just as I have loved you..." (what Christ has done)
- Imperative: "...you also are to love one another" (what we are to do)
We are not commanded to manufacture love from nothing. We are commanded to receive and reflect the love we have already been given. The command assumes the gift.
This also explains why the command is necessary. If we were naturally inclined to agape love, no command would be needed. The command confronts our natural selfishness — what the Bible calls the "flesh" — and calls us to operate from a different source: the indwelling Spirit who produces love as his first fruit (Galatians 5:22).
Theme 3: Love as Apologetics — The Visible Church
The sermon raised the sobering reality that the church has often been known more for its divisions and conflicts than for its love. This is not a new problem.
Historical context:
- The early church's love was so remarkable that the pagan Roman writer Tertullian (c. 200 AD) recorded pagans saying about Christians: "See how they love one another." This was not sarcasm — it was genuine amazement at a social reality that had no parallel in the ancient world.
- The early church crossed the most significant social barriers of the ancient world: Jew and Gentile, slave and free, male and female (Galatians 3:28) — not by erasing differences but by uniting across them in love.
- The history of the church also includes the Crusades, the Inquisition, denominational splits, racial segregation, and countless local church conflicts — all of which have damaged the credibility of the Christian witness.
The apologetic significance:
In an age of increasing skepticism toward organized religion, the most compelling argument for Christianity may not be philosophical — it may be communal. When people see a community that genuinely loves across difference, that forgives freely, that serves sacrificially, that reconciles rather than divides — this is a social miracle that points beyond human nature to a divine source.
The philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal wrote: "The heart has reasons that reason knows not of." The love of the Christian community speaks to the heart in ways that arguments cannot.
Theme 4: The Connection Between Receiving and Giving Love
The sermon made a crucial point: "You can't give what you don't have." This is not merely practical wisdom — it is theological truth.
1 John 4:19: "We love because he first loved us."
This verse establishes the logical and ontological priority of God's love. Our love for others is always a response to and overflow of God's love for us. This has several important implications:
Spiritual formation precedes social transformation. We cannot sustain genuine agape love through sheer willpower or moral effort. It requires ongoing connection to the source — prayer, Scripture, worship, sacrament, community.
Receiving love is not passive. Many Christians struggle to truly receive God's love — to believe it, rest in it, be transformed by it. This is often the root of our inability to love others well. We give what we have received; if we have not truly received grace, we cannot truly give it.
The communion connection. This is why the sermon's movement toward communion was theologically appropriate. The Lord's Supper is an act of receiving — receiving Christ's body and blood, his sacrifice and love. And what we receive, we are mandated to give. The table both nourishes us and sends us.
PART FOUR: CROSS-REFERENCES AND RELATED PASSAGES
A Biblical Theology of Love
Old Testament Foundations
| Passage | Connection |
|---|---|
| Leviticus 19:18 | "Love your neighbor as yourself" — the old standard Jesus upgrades |
| Deuteronomy 6:4-5 | The Shema — love for God as the foundation of love for others |
| Jeremiah 31:31-34 | The new covenant promise — the law written on hearts, not stone |
| Hosea 11:1-4 | God's parental love for Israel — a picture of agape's persistence |
| Ruth 1:16-17 | Covenant loyalty (hesed) — the OT nearest equivalent to agape |
Note on hesed: The Hebrew word hesed (often translated "steadfast love," "lovingkindness," or "covenant faithfulness") is the closest Old Testament parallel to agape. It appears over 250 times in the Old Testament and describes God's loyal, persistent, covenant-keeping love. The New Testament's agape is hesed fully revealed and incarnated in Jesus Christ.
New Testament Parallels and Development
| Passage | Theme |
|---|---|
| Matthew 22:34-40 | The two great commandments — love God and neighbor |
| Matthew 5:43-48 | Love your enemies — extending agape beyond the community |
| John 15:9-17 | Jesus elaborates on the commandment — abiding in his love |
| John 17:20-26 | Jesus's prayer for unity — love as the basis of Christian witness |
| Romans 5:5-8 | God's love poured out through the Spirit; love while we were sinners |
| Romans 12:9-21 | Practical expressions of genuine love in community |
| Romans 13:8-10 | Love as the fulfillment of the law |
| 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 | The "love chapter" — the nature and supremacy of agape |
| Galatians 5:13-14 | Freedom as the context for serving one another in love |
| Galatians 5:22-23 | Love as the first fruit of the Spirit |
| Galatians 6:1-2 | Bearing one another's burdens — love in action |
| Ephesians 3:14-19 | Prayer to comprehend the dimensions of Christ's love |
| Ephesians 4:1-3 | Unity maintained through love |
| Philippians 2:1-11 | The mind of Christ — humility as the shape of love |
| Colossians 3:12-14 | Love as the bond of perfection |
| 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 | Brotherly love taught by God himself |
| Hebrews 10:24-25 | Spurring one another on to love and good deeds |
| 1 Peter 4:8 | Love covers a multitude of sins |
| 1 John 2:9-11 | Hatred of brother as evidence of spiritual darkness |
| 1 John 3:11-18 | Love in action — not word but deed |
| 1 John 4:7-21 | The comprehensive theology of love — God is love |
The "One Another" Commands of the New Testament
The command to "love one another" is the foundation of a rich network of "one another" (allēlōn) commands throughout the New Testament. These are not isolated instructions — they are the practical expressions of agape love in community:
- Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
- Greet one another (Romans 16:16)
- Agree with one another (1 Corinthians 1:10)
- Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
- Bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2)
- Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
- Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13)
- Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
- Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:25)
- Confess your sins to one another (James 5:16)
- Pray for one another (James 5:16)
- Offer hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
- Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another (1 Peter 5:5)
These commands form a portrait of what a genuinely loving community looks like in practice. They are not optional extras — they are the defining characteristics of the body of Christ.
PART FIVE: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
For Small Group Study
Questions are arranged from foundational to deeper. Leaders may select questions appropriate for their group's level of maturity and available time.
Section A: Understanding the Text
(Observation and Interpretation)
Read John 13:31-35 aloud as a group. What strikes you most on first reading? What questions does this passage raise for you?
Why do you think John devotes five chapters (13–17) to a single evening? What does this proportion tell us about the theological significance of the Upper Room Discourse?
The sermon noted that Jesus addresses his disciples as "little children" (teknia). What does this term of endearment reveal about Jesus's emotional and relational state on this final evening? How does this address challenge our tendency to think of Jesus primarily in terms of his authority rather than his tenderness?
Jesus says this is a "new" commandment — using the Greek word kainos (fresh, unprecedented in quality). In what specific ways is this commandment genuinely new compared to the Leviticus 19:18 standard of "love your neighbor as yourself"? Why does the change in standard matter so profoundly?
The sermon explained the difference between philia (friendship love) and agapē (unconditional, sacrificial love). Why do you think Jesus chose agapē rather than philia for this command? What would have been lost if he had commanded philia love?
Jesus says, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" — not love for the world in general, but specifically love for one another within the community of faith. Why do you think Jesus begins with internal community love rather than outward love for the world?
Section B: Theological Reflection
(Interpretation and Doctrine)
The sermon made the point that "the opposite of love is not hate — it's selfishness." Evaluate this claim theologically. Do you agree? What does Scripture say about the relationship between selfishness (what the Bible calls "the flesh") and love? (See Romans 8:5-8; Galatians 5:16-17; Philippians 2:3-4)
1 John 4:8 says "God is love." This is one of only two places in Scripture where God's nature is identified with an abstract noun (the other being "God is light" in 1 John 1:5). What does it mean that love is not merely something God does but something God is? How does the Trinitarian nature of God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit in eternal loving relationship) ground the possibility of agape love?
The sermon argued that God commands love because (a) it is not natural to us, and (b) he has given us the capacity to do it through his indwelling Spirit. How does this understanding of command-and-capacity challenge both legalism (trying to love through willpower) and antinomianism (rejecting the command as unnecessary for those "under grace")?
The sermon noted the crucial phrase "as I have loved you" — the cross becomes the ultimate definition and standard of love. How does the cruciform (cross-shaped) nature of love redefine what it means to love in practical, everyday relationships? What does it look like to love someone with "cross-shaped" love in a marriage, a friendship, a church conflict?
Francis Schaeffer called Christian community "the final apologetic." In an age of increasing skepticism toward Christianity, do you believe this is still true? What are the implications of this claim for how we prioritize our time and energy as a church? What would need to change in our community for our love to function as a compelling apologetic?
The sermon raised the sobering reality that the church has historically been known more for its divisions than its love (47,000 denominations, infighting, splits). How do we reconcile this historical reality with Jesus's claim in John 13:35? Is the church's witness irreparably damaged, or is restoration possible? What would restoration require?
Section C: Personal Application
(For Mature Believers Seeking Deeper Transformation)
The sermon asked us to consider: "What if instead of evaluating ourselves by how many people love us, we began to evaluate ourselves by how well we love others?" Practically speaking, what would it look like to adopt this as your personal metric for spiritual maturity? What would you need to stop measuring? What would you start measuring?
The sermon made the point that we cannot love others with agape love if we have not truly received God's agape love for ourselves. Honestly assess: Do you live in the daily reality of God's unconditional love for you? Or do you functionally operate as if you must earn or maintain God's love through performance? How does your answer affect your capacity to love others?
Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 slowly and personally, substituting your own name for the word "love": "[Your name] is patient, [your name] is kind..." Where does this exercise reveal the greatest gap between your actual practice and the agape standard? What specific relationship or situation is the Holy Spirit highlighting?
The sermon noted that Jesus washed Judas's feet — loving someone he knew would betray him. Think of someone in your life who has betrayed your trust, hurt you deeply, or treated you unjustly. What would it look like to love that person with agape love? What would need to change in you — not in them — for that to become possible?
The "one another" commands of the New Testament (see the list in Part Four) are the practical expressions of agape in community. Which of these do you find most natural and easy? Which do you find most difficult? What does your answer reveal about the areas where your love still needs formation?
The sermon mentioned the danger of "echo chambers" — surrounding ourselves only with people who agree with us on everything. In what ways might you be guilty of creating relational echo chambers in your church life, social life, or online life? How does the command to love one another challenge this tendency?
Section D: Community Discernment
(For the Group Together)
As a group, honestly assess: What is our community known for? If someone outside our church were asked to describe us, would "love" be the first word they used? What evidence would support or challenge that assessment?
Are there any unresolved conflicts, unspoken tensions, or broken relationships within our group or church community that are undermining our witness? What would it look like to address these with the agape love Jesus commands? (Note: This question requires a safe, trust-filled environment and should be handled with pastoral sensitivity.)
The sermon noted that Jesus began with just eleven disciples: "Let's get it right in this room." What specific, concrete commitments could our small group make to practice agape love among ourselves — commitments that could then expand outward? What accountability structures would help us keep those commitments?
If the primary apologetic for Christianity is the love of the Christian community, what is one thing our group or church could do differently in the next month to make that love more visible to those outside our community?
PART SIX: PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Moving from Knowledge to Obedience
The sermon powerfully invoked John 13:17: "If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them." Knowledge without action is not merely incomplete — according to Jesus, it is to miss the blessing entirely. The following exercises are designed to help your group move from understanding to obedience.
Individual Exercises
1. The Agape Audit Using 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 as your framework, spend time this week journaling through each characteristic of love as it applies to one specific relationship that is difficult for you. For each characteristic, write:
- How does God love me this way?
- How am I currently failing to love this person this way?
- What one specific action would express this characteristic of love toward them this week?
2. The Gratitude-to-Love Pipeline Set aside 15 minutes each morning this week. Spend the first 10 minutes meditating on a specific way God has loved you (sacrificially, patiently, generously, unconditionally). Then spend the final 5 minutes asking: "God, who do you want me to love today with the love you've just shown me?" Keep a journal of what you hear and what you do.
3. The "One Another" Challenge Choose three "one another" commands from the list in Part Four that you will intentionally practice this week. Write them down. At the end of the week, report back to your group on what you did and what you discovered.
4. Pray for Your "Difficult Person" The sermon invited us to ask the Holy Spirit to show us someone we need to love. Commit to praying for that person every day this week — not that they would change, but that God would bless them and that God would give you his love for them. Keep a record of how your feelings toward that person shift (or don't) through the week of prayer.
Group Exercises
1. Burden-Bearing Circle Based on Galatians 6:2 ("Carry each other's burdens"), take time in your group meeting for each person to share one burden they are carrying. After each person shares, the group prays specifically for that burden. This is agape in action — the "one another" commands made concrete.
2. Appreciation and Affirmation Take 10 minutes at the end of your group meeting for each person to express one specific thing they appreciate about one other person in the group. This practices the "one another" commands of encouragement and affirmation and builds the culture of agape within your community.
3. An Act of Corporate Love As a group, identify one person or family in your church community who is in need (financially, relationally, practically) and plan one specific act of love toward them this week. Do it anonymously if possible. Reflect together afterward on what you experienced.
4. The Reconciliation Commitment If there are any known tensions or unresolved conflicts within your group, commit together to addressing them before your next meeting — following the Matthew 18:15 principle of going directly to the person. Ask two or three members to serve as peacekeepers who can help facilitate reconciliation if needed.
PART SEVEN: RESOURCES FOR FURTHER STUDY
Recommended Books
On Love and the New Commandment:
- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves — A classic exploration of the different kinds of love, including a powerful treatment of charity (agape). Accessible and profound.
- Francis Schaeffer, The Mark of the Christian — A short but powerful essay on John 13:35 and the apologetic significance of Christian love. Essential reading.
- D.A. Carson, The Difficult Doctrine of the Love of God — A careful theological treatment of the different ways the Bible speaks of God's love. Excellent for those who want deeper theological grounding.
- Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages — More practical than theological, but useful for understanding how love is expressed and received differently by different people.
- Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage — Uses agape love as the foundation for understanding covenant relationships; deeply biblical and practically helpful beyond just marriage.
On the Gospel of John:
- D.A. Carson, The Gospel According to John (Pillar Commentary) — The most thorough evangelical commentary on John's Gospel. Scholarly but readable.
- F.F. Bruce, The Gospel of John — Excellent historical and theological commentary from a respected scholar.
- R.C. Sproul, John (St. Andrew's Expositional Commentary) — More accessible than Carson; excellent for group study.
On the Upper Room Discourse specifically:
- J. Carl Laney, John (Moody Gospel Commentary) — Solid treatment of John 13–17.
- Andreas Köstenberger, John (Baker Exegetical Commentary) — Detailed and scholarly; excellent for leaders who want to go deeper.
On Christian Community and Love:
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together — A profound and challenging vision of Christian community grounded in agape love. Written from experience in a clandestine seminary under Nazi persecution.
- Mark Dever, The Church: The Gospel Made Visible — A biblical theology of the church as a community of love and witness.
- Paul Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands — Practical guidance on how to love and help others change through the gospel.
Recommended Passages for Further Personal Study
For a deeper immersion in the biblical theology of love, work through these passages over the coming weeks:
Week 1: John 15:1-17 (Abiding in Christ as the source of love) Week 2: 1 John 4:7-21 (The comprehensive theology of love) Week 3: Romans 12:9-21 (Love in action within and beyond the community) Week 4: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (The nature and supremacy of agape) Week 5: Philippians 2:1-11 (The mind of Christ as the model of love) Week 6: Colossians 3:12-17 (Putting on love as the bond of perfection)
Key Greek Words for Personal Study
For those who want to explore the original language further, these tools are recommended:
- Strong's Concordance (available free online at biblehub.com)
- Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words
- The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology (Colin Brown, ed.)
- Mounce's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words
Key words to study: agapē (G26), philia (G5373), storgē (G4737), kainos (G2537), entolē (G1785, "commandment"), teknia (G5040, "little children"), doxazō (G1392, "glorify")
CLOSING REFLECTION AND PRAYER
A Meditation on the New Commandment
Before closing your group time, read this passage slowly and prayerfully together:
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." — 1 John 4:7-11 (ESV)
Closing Prayer Guide
Close your group time with a time of prayer structured around the sermon's key themes. You may pray together or have different members lead each section:
1. Receive — Pray to receive God's agape love more deeply. Ask the Spirit to make the reality of God's love more vivid and transforming in each person's life.
2. Release — Pray to release any unforgiveness, resentment, or withheld love toward specific people. Name them silently before God.
3. Resolve — Pray for specific resolve to love one another within your community — to pursue reconciliation, to bear burdens, to serve sacrificially.
4. Reach — Pray that the love of your community would overflow outward — that those outside would see your love and be drawn to Jesus.
A Benediction
"And now I will show you a more excellent way... So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." — 1 Corinthians 12:31b; 13:13
Little children, love one another. — Jesus (John 13:34)
This study guide was developed for small group use based on the sermon "Table Talk: A New Command" from John 13:31-35. All Scripture quotations are from the English Standard Version (ESV) unless otherwise noted. Permission is granted for local church use.
Next Week's Preparation: Read John 14:1-14 in preparation for the next installment of the "Table Talk" series. As you read, note: What is Jesus's response to the disciples' anxiety about his departure? What does Jesus reveal about himself in this passage? What promises does he make?