Why You're Hitting the Wrong Target When You Pray

Meta Description: Do your prayers feel like they're missing the mark? Discover the real purpose of prayer—and why it might change everything about how you talk to God. URL Slug: why-you-might-be-hitting-the-wrong-target-when-you-pray Featured Image: A single empty chair beside a window with warm morning light streaming in—evoking intimacy, presence, and quiet conversation.

Have you ever thought, If prayer really works, why don't I do it more? I've been sitting with that question as we kicked off our brand new series, How to Pray, and I believe the answer might surprise you.

In 2004, American sharpshooter Matt Emmons stepped up for his final shot at the Olympic Games. He had built such a commanding lead that he didn't even need a bull's-eye—he just needed to hit the target. He lined up, steadied his aim, and fired. Bull's-eye. The crowd waited. And then, inexplicably, Matt's name slid from first place all the way down to eighth. He had hit the wrong target entirely.

I wonder how often we do the same thing when we pray.

The One Question Jesus' Disciples Asked

Think about who the disciples were. These were the men who had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with Jesus. They watched him walk on water, feed thousands with a handful of loaves and fish, open the eyes of the blind, and raise the dead. They had a front-row seat to miracle after miracle.

And when they finally came to Jesus with a question, it wasn't about any of that. The one question they asked was simply this: Teach us how to pray.

That's why I'm so convinced this series matters—for all of us, no matter how long we've been following Jesus.

How Jesus Said Not to Pray

Before Jesus gives us a framework for prayer, he actually teaches us how not to pray. In Matthew 6:5-8, he says:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like the pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

Two traps. Don't perform for an audience. And don't think that polished, elaborate language impresses God. He's not looking for a stage actor or a theological vocabulary test. God wants your heart.

The Sermon in a Sentence

Here's what I want you to write down, because this is the core of everything we're building in this series:

The purpose of prayer is not to get something from God—it's to be with him and become like him.

That reframes everything, doesn't it? So many of us approach prayer like a vending machine: push the right buttons, say the right words, and expect the right output. Or we've prayed and prayed and felt like nothing changed, and now we carry disappointment into every conversation with God.

But Jesus opens his model prayer with two words that reorient all of it: Our Father.

Prayer Is Relational

Out of every name for God available in the Old Testament—Jehovah Jireh, Elohim, El Shaddai, Lord, Creator, King—the name Jesus uses for God more than any other is Father. The language of intimacy.

I grew up with a wonderful dad, and I remember as a little kid, when we heard his truck pull around the corner, my brothers and I would race to the driveway to meet him. Pure excitement. But somewhere in my teenage years, that changed. I started correlating love and affirmation with accomplishment. I'd scramble to look productive the moment I heard his truck, hoping he'd be proud of what he saw.

And I realized—I do the same thing with God.

I approach him trying to earn my place at the table, forgetting that he already set a place for me. That's not how a good father operates. The God Jesus introduces us to is not a cosmic policeman waiting to catch you when you mess up. He's not a distant deity too busy for your small problems. He is Abba—a father who smiles when he thinks of you.

There's a story I love about an older man who, when a pastor visited him in the hospital, had an empty chair sitting beside his bed. He explained that he'd learned to simply talk to Jesus as if he were sitting right there in the chair. When the man passed away a few days later, his daughter called the pastor to share something remarkable: in his final moments, he had lifted himself from his pillow and laid his head on that empty chair—as if resting on the lap of Jesus.

That's the kind of nearness prayer opens up to us.

Prayer Is Formational

Jesus continues: "Hallowed be your name." When we pray that God's name would be recognized as holy—as good, compassionate, forgiving, and kind—something begins to shift in us.

You become like the people you spend the most time with. The more time you spend with God, the more you begin to reflect him. More loving. More generous. More peaceful. More present with the people around you.

Prayer isn't just communication. It's transformation.

A 21-Day Challenge

As we move through this series leading up to Easter, I want to invite you to make a decision: commit to praying every day for the next 21 days. Not because you have to get the words exactly right. Not because you need a formula. Just talk to your Father—the one who is relational, loving, and near.

Maybe that looks like morning, noon, and evening. Maybe it's one bold prayer over someone in your life each day. Maybe it's a quiet conversation on your commute. Whatever it is—start. Because prayer is simply coming home to a God who has been waiting for you.

If you're ready to take that step, I'd love for you to join us for the rest of this series. And if today was your first real encounter with this God—the one who is near to the brokenhearted, who is gentle and humble in heart, who sent his Son not to condemn but to save—then I want you to know: you can talk to him right now, exactly as you are.

That's where prayer begins.

Watch the full message and follow along with our How to Pray series at LifeChurch.tv.

Social Media Excerpt (Facebook/Instagram): What if the reason prayer feels like it's not working is because we've misunderstood what it's for? The purpose of prayer isn't to get something from God—it's to be with him and become like him. That one shift changes everything. Read this week's message recap and join us for our new series, How to Pray. 🙏

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