DEEP-DIVE SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE Based on: How to Pray — Week 1: The Purpose of Prayer Primary Text: Matthew 6:5–13 Time: 90–120 minutes

LEADER PREPARATION

(Read before your group meets)

Overview: This session launches a study on prayer by examining what Jesus taught in Matthew 6 — not just the Lord's Prayer itself, but the critical context immediately before it. Pastor Josh Wagner's central insight is that most of us struggle with prayer because we misunderstand its purpose: we treat it as a transaction rather than a relationship. This guide takes your group deeper into that idea through the original language, historical context, and honest reflection.

Big Idea: The purpose of prayer is not to get something from God — it is to be with him and to become like him.

Essential Background:

• The Lord's Prayer appears in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5–7), Jesus' most extended teaching. Understanding the surrounding context — what comes before the prayer — completely changes how we read it.
• Jesus is deliberately contrasting two wrong approaches to prayer (the hypocrites' and the pagans') before offering a better way. His audience would have immediately recognized both caricatures.
• The word Jesus uses for God — "Father" (Abba in Aramaic) — was shockingly intimate for first-century Jewish ears. It was the language of a child addressing a trusted parent, not formal religious address.

Preparation Checklist:

• Read Matthew 6:5–13 at least twice, slowly
• Review the word studies below and practice saying the transliterations out loud
• Think through your own honest answers to the discussion questions
• Pray for each group member by name before you meet

Facilitator Encouragement: You do not need to be a Bible scholar to lead this well. Your job is to ask good questions and create space for honest conversation — not to have all the answers. The best thing you can say in this group is, "That's a great question — what does everyone else think?"

OPENING

(5–10 minutes)

Icebreaker Question:

Think of a relationship in your life — a close friend, a spouse, a parent — where you felt completely comfortable just being yourself, no performance required. What made that relationship feel that way?

(Allow 2–3 people to share briefly. This question sets up the relational theme of prayer that runs through the entire session.)

TEACHING TIME

(15–20 minutes)

Leader note: Share these sections conversationally — as if you're thinking out loud with the group, not lecturing. It's fine to say "I found this interesting" or "I didn't know this before."

HISTORICAL & CULTURAL CONTEXT

(5–7 minutes)

Matthew 6:5–13 is part of what we call the Sermon on the Mount, delivered by Jesus likely on a hillside near the Sea of Galilee early in his public ministry. His audience was a mix of his disciples and large crowds — including many devout Jewish people who took religious practice seriously.

When Jesus warns against praying "like the hypocrites" in the synagogues and on street corners, he's describing a real practice. In first-century Judaism, set times of prayer — often three times daily — were observed publicly. Standing was the normal posture for prayer. The issue Jesus identifies wasn't the standing or even the public location; it was the motivation — performing for human approval rather than genuinely addressing God.

When Jesus warns against "babbling like the pagans," he's referencing Gentile religious practices in which repeating divine names and formulas was thought to compel or manipulate the gods. The idea was that the right words, said the right number of times, would force a deity's hand. Jesus is saying: God is not a machine you operate with the right inputs.

Together, these two warnings frame everything that follows: prayer is neither a performance nor a formula. It is a conversation with a Father who already knows you and already loves you.

KEY WORD STUDIES

(5–7 minutes)

"Hypocrites" — Greek: hypokritēs (hoo-pok-ree-TACE) In ancient Greek culture, this word referred specifically to a stage actor — someone who wore a mask to play a character in a theatrical performance. Jesus borrows this theatrical term to describe people whose prayers are performances for a human audience. The mask is the key image: they're showing one face to the crowd while something different is underneath. When Jesus says God wants your heart, he's saying: take the mask off.

"Babbling" — Greek: battalogeo (bat-tah-lo-GEH-oh) This unusual word (used only here in the New Testament) likely refers to empty, repetitive speech — possibly even mimicking the sound of stammering or meaningless repetition. It was used to describe pagan incantations where volume and repetition were thought to generate divine power. Jesus' point is striking: God isn't moved by your word count. He's moved by your heart.

"Father" — Aramaic: Abba (AB-bah) While Matthew records the Greek word Pater (Father), Jesus almost certainly spoke in Aramaic and used Abba — the intimate, everyday word a Jewish child used for their father, roughly equivalent to "Dad" or "Papa." This was not the formal, distant address used in most Jewish prayer of the time. When Jesus teaches his followers to open with "Our Father," he is making an astonishing claim: you have access to God not as a subject to a king, but as a child to a loving parent. The Apostle Paul later confirms this in Romans 8:15, saying the Spirit causes us to cry out "Abba, Father."

IMPORTANT CROSS-REFERENCES

(3–5 minutes)

These passages connect to and deepen what Jesus teaches in Matthew 6. You may want to look one or two up together as a group.

• Romans 8:15–16 — Paul picks up the Abba language directly, connecting prayer to our identity as adopted children of God. This isn't just a metaphor; it's a legal and relational status.
• Luke 11:1–4 — Luke's version of the Lord's Prayer is shorter and appears in a different context: the disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray after watching him pray. They weren't asking for theology — they wanted what they saw in him.
• 1 Kings 18:26–29 — The prophets of Baal do exactly what Jesus warns against: crying out louder and longer, even cutting themselves, trying to get their god's attention through intensity and repetition. It's a vivid Old Testament picture of battalogeo.
• Psalm 139:1–4 — God already knows what you need before you ask (Matthew 6:8). This psalm shows that God's knowledge of us is not surveillance — it's intimacy. Prayer isn't informing God; it's connecting with the One who already knows.

SCRIPTURE READING & OBSERVATION

(10–15 minutes)

Read aloud: Matthew 6:5–13

Suggestion: Read it once in a standard translation (NIV or ESV), then read it again in a more conversational translation (NLT or The Message). Ask a different group member to read each version.

Observation Questions (No discussion yet — just notice):

1. What words or phrases are repeated in this passage?
2. What surprises you, or what have you never noticed before?
3. What questions does this passage raise for you?
4. What does Jesus assume about the people he's talking to? (Hint: look at how he begins — "when you pray," not "if you pray.")

DEEP DIVE DISCUSSION

(40–50 minutes)

SECTION A: Understanding the Text

1. Jesus doesn't say if you pray — he says when you pray (v. 5, 7). What does that assumption tell us about how Jesus viewed prayer in the life of his followers? Does that assumption feel true of your own life?

2. Jesus identifies two wrong approaches to prayer: the hypocrite's performance and the pagan's formula. In your own words, what is the core problem with each? Which one do you think is more common today — and which one are you personally more tempted toward?

[Leader Tip: Many people will identify with the "formula" temptation — feeling like there's a right way to pray that they haven't figured out yet. Others may quietly relate to the "performance" issue, especially in group prayer settings. Let both surface without judgment. If discussion is slow, ask: "Have you ever caught yourself praying differently when others could hear you?"]

3. Before giving the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says, "Your Father knows what you need before you ask him" (v. 8). If God already knows, why pray at all? How does this verse actually change the purpose of prayer rather than eliminating the need for it?

[Leader Tip: This is one of the most honest theological tensions in the passage. Don't rush to resolve it. A helpful frame: prayer is not about informing God — it's about aligning ourselves with God. You might reference Psalm 139:1–4 here if the group needs a foothold.]

SECTION B: Theological Connections

4. The sermon introduced Dallas Willard's definition: prayer is "an intentional conversation with God about mutual concerns — talking about things we both care about." How does that definition change or expand how you've thought about prayer? What would it look like for your prayers to include things God cares about, not just things you need?

5. Jesus opens the prayer with "Our Father" — not "My Father." Why do you think the prayer is communal ("our," "us," "we") rather than individual? What does that tell us about the nature of prayer and the nature of the Christian life?

[Leader Tip: This is a rich question that often surprises people. Even private prayer, in Jesus' framework, is prayed as part of a community — we bring our whole church family before God, not just ourselves. Connect this to the Abba word study if helpful: children in a family share a father.]

6. The sermon made the point that "you become like the people you hang around with." How does that principle connect to what Jesus means by "hallowed be your name" — and why would regularly praying that phrase actually change the person praying it?

SECTION C: Contemporary Application

7. The sermon described several honest portraits of prayer struggles: the distracted person, the disappointed person, the person who's afraid to pray "wrong." Which of those resonated most with you — and what do you think is underneath that particular struggle?

8. Pastor Josh shared the story of the elderly man who talked to Jesus as if he were in the chair next to him. What's your gut reaction to that story — inspiring, uncomfortable, strange, or something else? What does your reaction reveal about how you actually picture God when you pray?

[Leader Tip: This question often surfaces deep and honest theology about how people really think about God — which is often very different from what they'd say in a Sunday school answer. Give the group room to be honest. You might share your own honest reaction first to lower the barrier.]

9. The sermon made the case that our view of God directly shapes how we pray. What's one word you would honestly use to describe how you tend to picture God when you approach him in prayer? Where did that picture come from?

10. Jesus says prayer is meant to make us become like God — more loving, peaceful, generous, compassionate. Can you think of a time when consistent prayer actually changed you rather than changing your circumstances? What happened?

PERSONAL APPLICATION

(15–20 minutes)

Give the group 2–3 minutes of quiet reflection before inviting sharing. These questions are for personal honesty, not performance.

Reflection Questions:

1. If prayer is a conversation with a Father who already loves you — no mask required — what would you say to him right now that you've been holding back?

2. The sermon identified three wrong views of God: the cosmic vending machine, the distant authority who's too busy, and the angry judge waiting to catch you. Which distorted view has most affected your prayer life? What would it look like to replace it with the picture Jesus offers?

3. What would it practically look like for you to pray with God this week — not just at him?

This Week Challenge:

Pastor Josh invited the congregation to commit to 21 days of daily prayer as a next step. This week, take the first step of that commitment:

Choose one specific time and place where you will pray every day this week — even for just five minutes. Use the Lord's Prayer as a framework, not a script: start by addressing God as Father, let that shape how you see him, then talk to him honestly about what's on your heart.

If you already have a regular prayer practice, take the step Pastor Josh suggested: add one bold, specific prayer for another person each day — and pray it out loud.

PRAYER & CLOSING

(10 minutes)

Suggested Prayer Focus: Close by doing what you've been studying — actually praying together, with honesty rather than performance.

Option 1 — Conversational Prayer: Invite anyone who wants to pray aloud to do so. Encourage short, honest sentences rather than polished paragraphs. Open by praying yourself, modeling the simplicity Jesus teaches.

Option 2 — Pairs Prayer: Break into pairs. Each person shares one honest thing they want to bring to God this week — then their partner prays it back to God on their behalf in a sentence or two.

Closing Word for the Leader:

Before you dismiss, remind your group: What we studied tonight was just the beginning. Jesus didn't just teach prayer — he lived it. The disciples asked him to teach them to pray because they watched him and wanted what he had. That's the invitation for all of us this week.

Close with a simple prayer of your own — thanking God that he is the kind of Father worth talking to.

Next Week: Continue in the How to Pray series — encourage your group to bring a friend or family member.