Why Prayer Feels Hard — And What Jesus Actually Wants From You

Meta Description: Pastor Josh Wagner unpacks Jesus' model for prayer in Matthew 6, revealing that prayer isn't about performance or getting things from God — it's about relationship. URL Slug: why-prayer-feels-hard-what-jesus-wants-from-you Featured Image: A simple, warm image of an empty chair near a sunlit window — evoking the story Pastor Josh shared about prayer as presence and intimacy with God.

There's a question most of us have asked at one point or another, even if we've never said it out loud: If prayer really works, why don't I do it more?

This Sunday, Pastor Josh Wagner stepped into the pulpit for week one of our new series, How to Pray, and he opened with exactly that tension. His honesty was refreshing, his teaching was grounded, and by the end of the message, many of us were seeing prayer in a completely new light.

Hitting the Bull's-Eye on the Wrong Target

Pastor Josh opened with a striking illustration about Matt Emmons, one of America's greatest Olympic sharpshooters. At the 2004 Olympic Games, Emmons had built such a commanding lead that all he needed to do was hit the target — not even a bull's-eye. He lined up, fired, and hit a perfect bull's-eye. The problem? He had aimed at the wrong target. He fell from first place to eighth.

Pastor Josh used that image to ask a pointed question: Could we be doing the same thing with prayer? Putting in effort, going through the motions — but missing what prayer is actually for?

He pointed out that even Jesus' closest disciples, the ones who watched him feed thousands, walk on water, and raise the dead, never once asked him, "Teach us how to do miracles." The one question they brought to Jesus was this: "Teach us how to pray."

That question is the heartbeat of this entire series.

How Jesus Said Not to Pray

Before giving us the famous model prayer, Jesus first taught his disciples how not to pray. Pastor Josh walked us carefully through Matthew 6, starting in verse 5:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full." — Matthew 6:5

"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like the pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." — Matthew 6:7–8

Two traps. Two wrong targets.

The first is performance — praying to be seen, to impress, to appear spiritual. The second is manipulation — believing that polished, lengthy, theologically impressive words will somehow move God to act.

Pastor Josh's point was clear and convicting: God wants your heart — not a performance, and not a formula.

The Sentence That Reframes Everything

At the center of his message, Pastor Josh offered what he called "the sermon in a sentence" — and it's worth writing down:

"The purpose of prayer is not to get something from God, but to be with him and become like him."

This reframe is simple, but it changes everything. So much of our frustration with prayer comes from treating it like a transaction — we ask, we wait, we wonder why nothing happened. But Jesus modeled something entirely different. Throughout the Gospels, Pastor Josh showed us verse after verse of Jesus withdrawing to pray — not because he needed to convince God of something, but because he genuinely wanted to be with his Father.

"Our Father" — The Two Words That Change How We Pray

When Jesus finally gives his disciples a model for prayer in Matthew 6:9–13, he begins with two simple words that carry enormous weight:

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one." — Matthew 6:9–13

Out of every name available to him — Jehovah Jireh, El Shaddai, Elohim, Creator, King — Jesus chose Father. Pastor Josh helped us feel the weight of that choice. How we view God, he reminded us, directly shapes how we pray. If we see God as distant, distracted, or disapproving, our prayers will reflect that. But if we understand that we're talking to a Father who is near, loving, and genuinely delighted by us, everything changes.

He also acknowledged, with real pastoral care, that for some of us the word father carries pain. Broken relationships, absent dads, or abusive experiences can make it hard to hear that word without flinching. To those carrying that wound, Pastor Josh said simply: "God grieves those wounds with you. No matter how great your earthly dad is, he can never carry what only your heavenly Father can."

Prayer Is Formational — You Become Who You're With

The third thread Pastor Josh wove through his message is that prayer doesn't just connect us to God — it changes us. When we pray "hallowed be your name," we're asking God to help us see him clearly, as holy and good and worthy. And as that vision of God grows in us, we begin to reflect it.

He put it this way: you become like the people you spend time with. The more time you spend with God in prayer, the more the fruit of the Spirit — love, kindness, peace, generosity, compassion — becomes visible in your life.

Coming Home

Pastor Josh closed with a story about flying home for Christmas each year. The moment the familiar streets came into view, the smell of bacon drifting from the kitchen, his brothers already there — something settled in him. He was home.

"That's what prayer is," he said. "It's coming home to a God who loves you, who wants to be near you, who wants to spend time with you."

As the message concluded, Pastor Josh invited everyone to make a 21-day commitment: to pray every single day for the next three weeks leading up to Easter. Whether that looks like morning, noon, and evening prayer, praying boldly over one person each day, or simply talking to God during your commute — the invitation was the same. Draw near to a God who is already drawing near to you.

Take a Next Step This Week

Missed the message? Watch the full sermon on our YouTube channel and share it with someone who might need to hear it.

Take the 21-day challenge. Commit to talking with God every day between now and Easter. You don't need fancy words or a perfect formula — just show up and have a conversation with your Father.

Social Media Excerpt (Facebook/Instagram): What if prayer isn't about getting things from God — but about being with him? This Sunday, Pastor Josh Wagner opened our new series How to Pray with a message that reframes everything. Whether you've prayed for years or don't know where to start, this one's for you. Link in bio to read the full recap. 🙏

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