This small group discussion guide draws directly from Craig Groeschel's sermon “Showcase - What Jesus Actually Said About Prayer” so you can keep engaging with the message all week. Read, reflect, and share it with your small group or friends.
How to Pray — Week 1
Small Group Discussion Guide
Series: How to Pray | Week: 1 of 3 Sermon: "The Purpose of Prayer" | Preacher: Pastor Josh Wagner Estimated Meeting Time: 60–90 minutes
A Note to Facilitators Welcome! Whether this is your first time leading a small group or your hundredth, this guide is designed to help you lead a natural, meaningful conversation. You don't need to be a theological expert — your job is simply to create space for honest dialogue and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Feel free to skip questions that don't fit your group's time or dynamic, and don't worry about covering everything. A great conversation about one or two questions is better than rushing through all of them. You've got this!
OVERVIEW
(For Facilitator Reference — No Need to Read Aloud)
In this opening message of the "How to Pray" series, Pastor Josh Wagner explored a question that even Jesus' closest disciples asked: "Teach us how to pray." Using Matthew 6:5–13, he challenged the common misconception that prayer is primarily about getting things from God. Instead, he offered a reframing: the purpose of prayer is not to get something from God, but to be with him and become like him. The message introduced three key ideas — that prayer requires your genuine heart (not performance), that prayer is relational (rooted in knowing God as a loving Father), and that prayer is formational (it changes who we are as we draw near to God).
GETTING STARTED
Before Your Group Meets
Read ahead: Matthew 6:5–13
Pray: Ask God to guide your conversation and open hearts in your group.
Set the environment: Arrange seating so everyone can see each other. Remove distractions where possible.
Optional: If your group didn't watch the sermon together, consider playing a 2–3 minute clip to refresh everyone's memory before diving in.
SECTION 1 — ICEBREAKER
Opening Question (5–10 minutes)
Start here to warm up the group and get everyone talking before diving into deeper content. There are no wrong answers — just get people sharing!
Choose one of the following based on your group:
Option A (lighter, good for new groups or mixed maturity levels):
"Think about a time you had to learn something that seemed simple on the surface but turned out to be more complex than expected — like driving, cooking, or using a new app. What was that like?"
Option B (slightly more personal, good for established groups):
"What's one word that comes to mind when you hear the word 'prayer'? It could be positive, negative, or somewhere in between — just be honest!"
[Leader Tip] Don't skip the icebreaker, even if your group knows each other well. It signals that this is a safe space for honest sharing, which you'll need for the deeper questions ahead. If someone shares a negative word for Option B (like "boring," "confusing," or "guilt"), affirm their honesty — that's exactly the kind of openness this series is designed for.
SECTION 2 — SCRIPTURE READING
God's Word (5 minutes)
Have someone in the group read the passage aloud, or read it together. It's okay to read it more than once.
Matthew 6:5–13 (NIV)
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like the pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
This, then, is how you should pray:
'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'"
Brief Context for Facilitators (optional — share if helpful): This passage is part of what's called the "Sermon on the Mount" — a long teaching Jesus gave to a large crowd, including his disciples. Before giving us a model for prayer, Jesus first tells us how not to pray: don't perform for others, and don't think that using the right words or enough words earns God's attention. Then he gives us what many call the "Lord's Prayer" — not as a formula to repeat perfectly, but as a framework or template for how to approach God.
SECTION 3 — DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Exploring the Message Together (30–45 minutes)
Work through these questions as a group. You don't need to cover all of them — choose the ones that feel most relevant to your group. Questions are organized from lighter and observational to deeper and more personal.
THEME 1: Why Don't We Pray More?
Questions 1–2
1. Pastor Josh opened with a story about Olympic sharpshooter Matt Emmons, who hit a bull's-eye on the wrong target. In what ways do you think people can "aim at the wrong target" when it comes to prayer — putting effort in but missing the point?
[Leader Tip] This is a great opening question because it's observational and a little abstract, which makes it feel safe. Let people brainstorm freely. Common answers might include: praying only in crisis, praying to impress others, treating prayer like a transaction, or saying the "right" words without real engagement. All of these connect naturally to the sermon.
2. Pastor Josh said that when we don't pray, it's often because we're either distracted or disappointed. Which of those two resonates more with your experience of prayer — and why?
[Leader Tip] This question invites vulnerability, so model openness as the leader. Share your own honest answer first if the group is quiet. Normalize both responses — disappointment in prayer is a real and common experience, not a sign of weak faith.
THEME 2: God Wants Your Heart — Not Your Performance
Questions 3–4
3. Jesus warns against praying like "hypocrites" who perform for others, and like "pagans" who think their many polished words will impress God. In your experience, what does "performative prayer" look or feel like — either in yourself or in a church setting?
4. Pastor Josh said the sermon's central idea was this:
"The purpose of prayer is not to get something from God, but to be with him and become like him."
How does that reframe the way you think about prayer? What shifts when you see prayer as a relationship rather than a request list?
[Leader Tip] Some group members — especially those newer to faith — may genuinely struggle with this idea. It's okay if someone pushes back and says, "But isn't it okay to ask God for things?" Affirm that yes, the Lord's Prayer itself includes requests. The point isn't that asking is wrong, but that the purpose and foundation of prayer is relational intimacy, not transaction. Requests flow naturally out of relationship.
THEME 3: Prayer Is Relational — "Our Father"
Questions 5–7
5. Jesus begins the Lord's Prayer with "Our Father in heaven." Pastor Josh pointed out that out of all the names for God available in the Old Testament — Lord, Creator, King, Elohim, El Shaddai, Jehovah Jireh — Jesus most often chose Father. What do you think Jesus wanted us to understand about God by using that specific word?
6. Pastor Josh shared that how we view God directly affects how we pray. He described several "fragmented views" of God — like seeing him as too busy, as a cosmic vending machine, as a disappointed parent, or as a policeman waiting to catch us.
Which of those distorted views of God do you think is most common? Have you ever caught yourself relating to God in one of those ways?
[Leader Tip] This is one of the most personally revealing questions in the guide. Give people permission to be honest — many people have distorted views of God without realizing it. If your group is quiet, share one of your own. Avoid rushing to "fix" people's views; simply naming them is a powerful first step. The goal is awareness, not a theology lecture.
7. For some people, thinking of God as "Father" is a warm and comforting image. For others, it's complicated or even painful because of difficult relationships with their earthly fathers. How do you think someone can begin to separate their experience of their earthly dad from their understanding of God as Father?
[Leader Tip] Handle this question with sensitivity. There may be people in your group who experienced absent, abusive, or emotionally unavailable fathers. Don't rush past the pain — acknowledge it. Pastor Josh addressed this directly in the sermon: "God grieves those wounds with you." You don't need to have all the answers; simply creating space for honest sharing is powerful. If someone shares something heavy, thank them for their vulnerability and ask the group to hold that with care.
THEME 4: Prayer Is Formational — It Changes Us
Questions 8–9
8. Pastor Josh said that "hallowed be your name" is essentially a prayer that says, "God, help me recognize you as holy." He then said that as we begin to see God more clearly — as loving, kind, forgiving, near — it changes us from the inside out. In your own words, how does spending time with someone begin to shape who you are? How might that principle apply to time spent with God in prayer?
9. Pastor Josh described prayer as "coming home" — the feeling of returning somewhere safe, familiar, and full of love. What would it look like practically for prayer to feel less like an obligation and more like that kind of homecoming in your daily life?
SECTION 4 — PERSONAL APPLICATION
Taking It Home (10–15 minutes)
These questions are more reflective and personal. You can discuss them as a group or give people a few quiet minutes to journal or think before sharing.
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you honestly rate your current prayer life — with 1 being "I rarely pray" and 10 being "prayer feels like a natural, ongoing conversation with God"? What's one thing that's holding you back from moving one step higher on that scale?
2. Pastor Josh invited the congregation to commit to praying every day for the next 21 days. He offered several on-ramps depending on where people are:
- If you're just starting: Try a simple daily conversation with God — even 5 minutes in the car or before bed.
- If you already pray in the morning: Add a brief midday or evening check-in with God.
- If you have an established prayer life: Commit to praying over one specific person every single day for 21 days.
Which of these feels like a realistic and meaningful next step for you? What would help you actually follow through?
3. The older gentleman in Pastor Josh's story would place an empty chair next to him and talk to Jesus as if he were sitting right there. What's one simple, practical thing you could do this week to help make prayer feel more like a real conversation with a present God?
4. Is there an area of your life where you've been treating prayer as a last resort rather than a first response? What would it look like to bring that situation to God first this week?
5. Pastor Josh closed by saying that prayer is how we "become like" God — that the more time we spend with him, the more we begin to reflect his love, kindness, peace, and generosity to the people around us. Who in your life might be affected if your prayer life grew deeper over the next three weeks?
SECTION 5 — THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE
Putting It Into Practice
Choose one of the following commitments before you leave today. Consider sharing your choice with a partner in the group so you can check in with each other next week.
| Where I Am | My 21-Day Challenge |
|---|---|
| I rarely pray | Set a daily 5-minute reminder on my phone and just talk to God honestly — no special words required |
| I pray sometimes | Pray morning and evening this week — even briefly — to bookend my day with God |
| I have a regular prayer time | Add one person to pray over specifically every day for 21 days |
| I want to go deeper | Start a simple prayer journal — write one thing you're grateful for and one honest request each day |
Bonus: Try the "empty chair" practice at least once this week. Find a quiet moment, imagine Jesus sitting across from you, and just talk to him like a friend.
SECTION 6 — PRAYER FOCUS
Closing Your Time Together (5–10 minutes)
Close your group time in prayer. Here are some suggested ways to approach it:
Option A — Open Prayer: Invite anyone who's comfortable to pray aloud. Encourage short, honest prayers — no performance required (fitting for this week's message!).
Option B — Guided Prayer: The facilitator leads the group through a brief structured prayer using the Lord's Prayer as a framework:
- "Our Father..." — Begin by acknowledging who God is and that he's near.
- "Hallowed be your name..." — Take a moment to thank God for one specific quality of his character.
- "Your kingdom come, your will be done..." — Surrender one area of your life or group's life to God's will.
- "Give us today our daily bread..." — Bring one practical need before God.
- "Forgive us our debts..." — Silently acknowledge any area where you need God's grace.
- "Deliver us from the evil one..." — Ask for God's protection over your group this week.
Option C — Conversational Prayer: Go around the circle and invite each person to pray one sentence. Remind the group that there are no "right" words — just honest ones.
Suggested Prayer Topics This Week:
- For each group member to find a consistent, realistic time to pray this week
- For people in the group who feel distant from God or disappointed by unanswered prayer
- For those who struggle to see God as a loving Father because of painful earthly relationships
- For the "21-Day Prayer Challenge" — that it would become a genuine habit, not just a duty
- For anyone in the group who made a decision to follow Jesus for the first time
SECTION 7 — OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE
For Groups Wanting to Go Further (Bonus Questions)
If your group finishes early or wants to explore the topic more deeply, here are three additional questions:
Deep Dive 1: Dallas Willard's definition of prayer — quoted in the sermon — is "an intentional conversation with God about mutual concerns." The phrase "mutual concerns" suggests that God actually cares about what we care about. How does that idea sit with you? Does it change how you approach prayer to think that God is genuinely interested in the same things you're bringing to him?
Deep Dive 2: Read Luke 5:16 — "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Pastor Josh noted that Jesus, who had the most demanding ministry imaginable, consistently made prayer a priority. What do you think Jesus was getting from those times of prayer? What does it say about the nature of prayer that even the Son of God needed it?
Deep Dive 3: The sermon made a distinction between praying to God versus talking with God. In your experience, what's the difference between those two postures? What would need to change in how you approach prayer for it to feel more like a two-way conversation?
SUPPLEMENTAL SCRIPTURE
For Further Reading and Exploration
These passages weren't all covered in the sermon but relate directly to the themes discussed. Great for personal study or a deeper group conversation:
| Passage | Theme |
|---|---|
| Luke 5:16 | Jesus regularly withdrew to pray |
| Luke 6:12 | Jesus prayed through the night before major decisions |
| Luke 11:1–4 | The disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray |
| Philippians 4:6–7 | Prayer as the antidote to anxiety |
| Romans 8:26–27 | The Holy Spirit helps us when we don't know how to pray |
| Psalm 139:1–4 | God already knows us fully — we can be completely honest with him |
| James 5:16 | The power of honest, heartfelt prayer |
FACILITATOR NOTES
A Few Final Reminders
✅ You don't need all the answers. If a question comes up that you can't answer, it's perfectly fine to say, "That's a great question — let's look into that together this week."
✅ Watch the time. If one question sparks a rich conversation, let it breathe. It's better to go deep on two questions than shallow on ten.
✅ Protect the vulnerable. If someone shares something painful — especially around absent or abusive fathers — honor their courage. Resist the urge to fix or theologize quickly. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, "Thank you for sharing that. We're glad you're here."
✅ Celebrate honesty. If someone admits they rarely pray, or that prayer feels empty, affirm that honesty as the starting point for growth — not something to be ashamed of.
✅ Pray for your group before you meet. Even five minutes of preparation prayer can change the entire atmosphere of your time together.
✅ Follow up during the week. A quick text to check in on how people's prayer challenge is going can go a long way in building community between meetings.
This guide was prepared for Life Church Small Groups — Week 1 of the "How to Pray" series. Next Week: Continue the series with Week 2 — bring a friend!