This small group discussion guide draws directly from Craig Groeschel's sermon “What You’re Not Saying - 2026-05-31” so you can keep engaging with the message all week. Read, reflect, and share it with your small group or friends.
Small Group Discussion Guide
Love Killers Series — Week 5: The Hidden Things
Deception, Honesty, and the Freedom of Truth in Relationships
A Note to Facilitators: Thank you for leading this week! This guide is designed to help your group have real, meaningful conversations about honesty and deception in relationships. Some of these topics may feel sensitive or personal — that's okay. Your job isn't to have all the answers. It's to create a safe space where people can be honest, explore Scripture together, and encourage one another. Read through the guide before your meeting, pick the questions that feel right for your group, and trust the Holy Spirit to do the rest. You've got this.
OVERVIEW
In this final message of the Love Killers series, Pastor Craig explored how deception and dishonesty — even in small, everyday forms — quietly erode the trust and intimacy at the heart of our closest relationships. Drawing from Genesis, Jeremiah, Luke, John, Ephesians, and James, he challenged us to move from hiding to honesty, from secrecy to confession, and from fear to the freedom that comes when we embrace both grace and truth — the two qualities that defined Jesus himself.
BEFORE YOU BEGIN
Suggested Total Time: 75–90 minutes Key Verse for the Week: "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." — Ephesians 4:15
A Gentle Reminder: This week's topic — deception and honesty in relationships — can bring up real pain, vulnerability, and even shame for some group members. Lead with extra grace. Remind your group at the start that what's shared in the group stays in the group, and that no one is required to share anything they're not comfortable sharing. The goal is growth, not exposure.
SECTION 1: ICEBREAKER
⏱ 5–10 minutes
Start light. This question is designed to ease the group into the topic without putting anyone on the spot right away.
Opening Question:
Think about a time when someone surprised you with unexpected honesty — maybe they admitted something you didn't expect, or told you a hard truth in a kind way. Without sharing anything too personal, what did that moment feel like?
— OR —
Pastor Craig told a memorable (and slightly disgusting!) story about brownies. What's a memorable illustration, story, or analogy that has stuck with you from a sermon, book, or conversation over the years?
[Leader Tip]: Don't rush this section. Laughter and light sharing in the first few minutes helps people feel safe enough to go deeper later. If your group is quieter, you can share your own brief answer first to model openness.
SECTION 2: SCRIPTURE READING
⏱ 5 minutes
Ask one or two volunteers to read the following passages aloud. You don't need to discuss them yet — just let the words land before moving into questions.
Passage 1 — The Deceitful Heart:
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" — Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
Passage 2 — Faithful in Small Things:
"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." — Luke 16:10 (NIV)
Passage 3 — Grace and Truth:
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." — John 1:14 (NIV)
Passage 4 — Speaking the Truth in Love:
"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." — Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)
Passage 5 — Confession and Healing:
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." — James 5:16 (NIV)
Passage 6 — Confession and Forgiveness:
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." — 1 John 1:9 (NIV)
SECTION 3: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
⏱ 35–45 minutes
Work through as many of these questions as time allows. They're organized to move from lighter, observational questions into deeper personal application. You don't have to use all of them — choose what fits your group best.
THEME A: Recognizing Deception in Everyday Life
(Questions 1–3 — approximately 10–12 minutes)
1. What stood out to you most from Sunday's message — a story, a statement, or a Scripture that hit home? Why did it stand out?
(This is a great opening question for everyone to answer briefly. It helps the group process the sermon together and reveals what resonated with different people.)
[Leader Tip — Q1]: Give everyone a chance to respond to this one, even if briefly. It helps quieter members feel included early and often surfaces a variety of insights that can shape the rest of your discussion.
2. Pastor Craig described four levels of deception: the half-truth, the omission, the reframe, and the double life. In your own words, how would you describe the difference between these? Which one do you think is most common in everyday relationships — and why?
"Whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." — Luke 16:10
[Leader Tip — Q2]: If discussion stalls, try this follow-up: "Pastor Craig used the example of hiding a yogurt cup in the trash. Can you think of an everyday, low-stakes example of each level — something that doesn't require anyone to share something deeply personal?" Keeping it hypothetical first helps people feel safe before going personal.
3. Jeremiah 17:9 says the heart is "deceitful above all things." Pastor Craig pointed out that deception in relationships often starts not with lying to someone else, but with lying to ourselves — convincing ourselves that something "isn't that big a deal." What are some of the most common ways we rationalize or minimize our own dishonesty?
THEME B: The Cost of Hiding
(Questions 4–5 — approximately 10–12 minutes)
4. Pastor Craig traced deception all the way back to the Garden of Eden, noting that after Adam and Eve sinned, the first thing they did was hide — from God and from each other. What does this tell us about the relationship between sin and secrecy? How have you seen that pattern play out in real life?
5. The message identified four areas where deception most commonly shows up in relationships: emotional, financial, relational, and sexual. Without sharing anything too personal, which of these areas do you think is most underestimated — the one people are least likely to recognize as a form of dishonesty? Why?
[Leader Tip — Q5]: This question can open up rich conversation, but it can also feel vulnerable. Remind the group that we're thinking broadly here — what's common in relationships generally — before anyone feels pressure to share their own experience. Follow the group's lead on how personal to go.
THEME C: Grace and Truth Together
(Questions 6–7 — approximately 10–12 minutes)
6. Pastor Craig said Jesus came "full of grace and truth" — and that many relationships struggle because they have one without the other. He described two extremes: truth without grace, which hurts and destroys, and grace without truth, which enables dysfunction to continue. In your experience, which extreme do you tend toward — and what does that look like in practice?
"The Word became flesh... full of grace and truth." — John 1:14
[Leader Tip — Q6]: This question often generates great self-reflection. Some people will identify strongly with one side or the other. Affirm both tendencies as understandable, then ask: "What would it look like to hold both grace and truth together in a specific relationship in your life?"
7. Ephesians 4:15 calls us to "speak the truth in love." That phrase sounds simple, but it's harder to live out. What makes it so difficult to deliver truth with grace — especially to someone we're close to? What gets in the way?
THEME D: The Freedom of Confession
(Questions 8–9 — approximately 10–12 minutes)
8. Pastor Craig drew a distinction between two types of confession: confessing to God for forgiveness, and confessing to each other for healing. He said most people stop at the first one. Why do you think we're often more willing to confess to God than to confess to the people in our lives? What makes that second kind of confession so hard?
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." — James 5:16
9. Pastor Craig shared a personal story about confessing a vulnerability to his wife Amy — something he had been hiding out of fear that it would hurt her or make him look weak. He said the very thing he was afraid to share actually brought them closer. Have you ever experienced something like that — where being honest about something difficult actually strengthened a relationship rather than damaging it? What did you learn from that experience?
[Leader Tip — Q9]: This is the emotional heart of the discussion. Model vulnerability yourself if you can — sharing a brief, appropriate example from your own life gives others permission to do the same. If the group is quiet, try: "Even if you haven't experienced this personally, what do you think makes that kind of honesty so powerful?"
SECTION 4: PERSONAL APPLICATION
⏱ 10–15 minutes
These questions are more personal and reflective. You may want to give people 1–2 minutes of quiet to think before sharing. Remind the group that no one is required to share their answer out loud.
1. Pastor Craig said, "You'll only be as close as you both are honest." As you think about your most important relationships right now — a spouse, a close friend, a family member — is there an area where a lack of honesty (yours or theirs) may be creating distance? What would it look like to take one small step toward greater honesty this week?
2. Are you currently carrying something — a secret, a habit, a hurt, a resentment — that you've been hiding rather than bringing into the light? You don't need to share the details with the group, but consider: who is one safe, trusted person in your life you could take a step toward honesty with?
3. Pastor Craig offered two paths forward depending on the size of what someone might be carrying:
- For smaller things: Go home, confess it, and deal with it.
- For bigger things: Don't go it alone — find support through a life group, a pastor, or a Christian counselor before having the conversation.
Which of these paths feels most relevant to where you are right now? What would your next step look like?
4. For those who might be on the receiving end of someone else's confession or honesty — Pastor Craig said: "Your pain is real, and so is their honesty. God can work with that." If you're in that position, what would it look like to hold both of those things at the same time — to honor your own hurt while also extending grace?
SECTION 5: THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE
⏱ 2 minutes to share — ongoing through the week
Choose one of the following challenges to carry with you this week:
🔹 The Small Step: Identify one small area of dishonesty or omission in a relationship — something you've been glossing over or avoiding. Bring it into the open with that person this week. Keep it simple, keep it graceful, and see what happens.
🔹 The Mirror Check: Spend 10 minutes in quiet reflection (or journaling) asking God: "Where am I deceiving myself? Where am I hiding — from you, from others, or from the truth about myself?" Write down what comes up and bring it to God in prayer.
🔹 The Confession Practice: Using 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16, practice both kinds of confession this week. Confess something to God in prayer — and then consider whether there's someone in your life you also need to be honest with.
🔹 The Grace-and-Truth Audit: Think about one relationship where you tend toward either "truth without grace" or "grace without truth." Ask God to show you what a more balanced approach would look like, and take one practical step in that direction.
SECTION 6: PRAYER FOCUS
⏱ 5–10 minutes
Close your time together in prayer. Here are some suggested focuses — feel free to pray through all of them or choose what feels most relevant to your group's conversation tonight.
Suggested Prayer Topics:
🙏 Honesty with God — Ask God to search your heart and reveal any areas of self-deception or hiding. Thank him that he already knows everything and pursues us with grace anyway.
🙏 Courage to Confess — Pray for the courage to be honest in the relationships where it matters most, and for wisdom about how and when to have hard conversations.
🙏 Healing for the Hurt — Pray for those in your group (and in your own life) who are carrying pain from someone else's deception. Ask God to bring comfort, healing, and hope.
🙏 Grace and Truth Together — Pray that your group, your families, and your church would be known as communities where grace and truth coexist — where people can be honest without fear and receive truth without condemnation.
🙏 Relationships in Crisis — Pray for anyone in your group (or in your circle) who is in a relationship that feels broken or hopeless right now. Declare together that God specializes in healing what seems beyond repair.
[Leader Tip — Prayer]: If your group is comfortable with it, consider breaking into pairs for prayer — especially if people have shared something personal tonight. Praying one-on-one can feel safer and more personal than praying in a full group. Give people the option.
A Suggested Closing Prayer (feel free to read aloud or adapt):
Father, thank you that you are a God of grace and truth — and that you came to us first, before we ever came to you. Tonight, we've talked about the places where we hide, the small dishonesties we excuse, and the bigger things we've been afraid to bring into the light. We ask for courage — courage to be honest with you, with ourselves, and with the people you've placed in our lives. Where there is pain, bring healing. Where there is secrecy, bring freedom. Where there is distance, bring closeness. We trust you with all of it. In Jesus' name, amen.
SECTION 7: OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE
⏱ Use if time allows or for groups wanting to go further
These questions are for groups that want to explore the topic at a deeper theological or personal level.
Deep Dive 1 — The Root of Deception:
"The heart is deceitful above all things." — Jeremiah 17:9
Pastor Craig noted that deception goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden, and that the enemy has "been running a similar play ever since." How does understanding the spiritual dimension of deception — that the enemy is described in John 8:44 as "the father of lies" — change the way we think about honesty in relationships? How does it affect how we respond to someone who has deceived us?
Deep Dive 2 — Truth That Costs Something:
Jesus said in John 8:32, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." But freedom often comes at a cost — confession can be painful, honesty can be risky, and transparency can feel dangerous. How do you hold together the promise of freedom with the reality that the path to it can be hard? What does it look like to trust that promise even when honesty feels like a risk?
Deep Dive 3 — Community as the Context for Healing:
Pastor Craig strongly encouraged people not to confess major secrets without support — a life group, a pastor, or a Christian counselor. James 5:16 connects confession and healing to community, not just private prayer. Why do you think God designed healing to happen in community rather than in isolation? What does that say about the purpose and importance of groups like this one?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
For Further Study:
- Proverbs 12:17–19 — Honest words vs. deceptive words
- Psalm 51 — David's prayer of honest confession
- John 8:31–36 — The truth that sets us free
- Colossians 3:9–10 — Putting off falsehood as part of new life in Christ
- Proverbs 28:13 — Whoever conceals sin vs. whoever confesses it
If You or Someone in Your Group Needs Support:
- Speak with a pastor or elder at Life Church
- Seek a Christ-centered counselor for significant relational issues
- The Love Killers sermon series is available to rewatch online — consider sharing it with someone who needs it
QUICK-REFERENCE SUMMARY FOR FACILITATORS
| Section | Time |
|---|---|
| Icebreaker | 5–10 min |
| Scripture Reading | 5 min |
| Discussion Questions | 35–45 min |
| Personal Application | 10–15 min |
| This Week's Challenge | 2 min |
| Prayer | 5–10 min |
| Total | ~75–90 min |
Key Takeaways from the Message:
- Deception exists on a spectrum — from small omissions to double lives — and small dishonesty doesn't stay small.
- We often deceive ourselves before we deceive others.
- Jesus came full of both grace and truth — and healthy relationships need both.
- There are two kinds of confession: to God for forgiveness, and to each other for healing.
- "You will only be as close as you both are honest."
This guide was prepared for Life Church small groups based on the message "The Hidden Things" from the Love Killers series. Permission granted for local church use.