Asking for a Friend — Part 4

Small Group Discussion Guide

"Who Gets the Final Word?"

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A Note to Facilitators: This week's sermon covered several sensitive topics — marijuana and alcohol, abortion, sexual past, and hearing God's voice. People in your group may carry personal experiences related to any of these areas. Your role is not to have all the answers, but to create a safe, grace-filled space where honest conversation can happen. Read through this guide fully before your meeting. You know your group best — feel free to skip, adjust, or spend more time on sections that fit your group's needs. Estimated total time: 75–90 minutes.

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OVERVIEW

In the final week of Asking for a Friend, Pastor Craig tackled some of the most personal and culturally charged questions submitted by thousands of church members — including substance use, abortion, sexual brokenness, and discerning God's voice. Beneath every question, one deeper question emerged: Who gets the final word in your life? The sermon called each person to honestly examine whether they are living by God's Word or by personal desires, cultural pressures, or fear — and to surrender that final word to Jesus.

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BEFORE YOU BEGIN

Prepare Your Space

• Arrange seating so everyone can see each other
• Have Bibles or a Bible app available
• Consider having a simple snack or drinks to help people relax
• Print copies of this guide or share it digitally ahead of time

A Word on Sensitive Topics This guide touches on abortion and sexual brokenness. Some people in your group may carry personal pain, grief, or shame in these areas. Before diving in, consider opening with a brief reminder: "This is a safe space. We're here to explore God's Word together, not to judge each other's stories. Whatever you share stays in this room."

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SECTION 1: ICEBREAKER

(5–10 minutes)

Opening Question — Choose one based on your group:

Option A (lighter, good for new groups or groups with newer believers):

"Think about a time you asked someone for advice on a big decision. Who did you go to, and why did you trust that person?"

Option B (a bit more reflective, good for established groups):

"Is there a question you've always wanted to ask a pastor or church leader but felt like it was too personal, too controversial, or just too awkward? You don't have to share the question itself — just describe what it felt like to carry it."

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SECTION 2: SCRIPTURE READING

(5 minutes)

Have someone in the group read each passage aloud. You may want to ask two or three different people to each read one passage.

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Psalm 139:13–14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

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1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

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Romans 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

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Psalm 119:133 "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me."

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Proverbs 15:22 "Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success."

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2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

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[Leader Tip]: You don't need to comment on every passage right now — just let them land. These will come up naturally in the discussion questions. If your group is short on time, choose two or three passages that feel most relevant to where your group is.

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SECTION 3: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

(35–45 minutes)

These questions are organized by theme and move from lighter/observational to deeper/personal. You likely won't get through all of them — that's okay! Choose 5–7 that feel most relevant to your group.

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THEME A: Starting with God's Word

(Substance Use — Marijuana & Alcohol)

1. What stood out to you most from the part of the sermon about marijuana and alcohol? (This is a warm-up question — there are no wrong answers here.)

[Leader Tip]: This is a good question to open with because it's observational and low-pressure. Let a few people share before moving on. Don't feel the need to resolve every point raised — the goal is to get the conversation going.

2. Pastor Craig made the distinction that something can be legal and socially acceptable and still not be wise. How does that idea change the way you think about making personal decisions — not just about substances, but in general?

Reference: 1 Corinthians 6:12 — "I have the right to do anything — but not everything is beneficial."

3. Pastor Craig talked about how the Bible doesn't mention marijuana specifically, but it does speak clearly about self-control and sobriety. How do you personally navigate decisions where the Bible doesn't give a direct answer? What's your process?

[Leader Tip]: This is a great question for mixed groups because it opens up a conversation about biblical principles vs. direct commands — a concept that applies far beyond substance use. If the group gets stuck, ask: "What other areas of life do you face decisions where the Bible doesn't give a specific rule?"

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THEME B: Life, Grace, and Hard Conversations

(Abortion)

4. Pastor Craig said that abortion is not just a political issue — it's a spiritual one. What's the difference between approaching a topic politically versus spiritually? How does that shift in framing change the conversation?

5. The sermon held two things together at the same time: the truth that life in the womb is sacred and the grace that God fully forgives those who have had an abortion. Why do you think it can be hard for people to hold both of those truths at the same time? What happens when we emphasize one without the other?

Reference: Psalm 139:13 / 1 John 1:9 / Romans 8:1

[Leader Tip]: This is potentially the most emotionally sensitive question in the guide. Go slowly. Remind the group that some people may carry personal grief or regret in this area. You don't need to resolve theological debates — focus on what the Bible says about both the sanctity of life and the fullness of God's grace. If the room gets quiet, that's okay. Silence can mean people are processing something real.

6. Pastor Craig shared a story about a young woman in her life group who was facing an unexpected pregnancy. Her community rallied around her and said, "You are not alone." What does it look like practically for a church community to be that kind of presence for someone in a crisis?

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THEME C: Redemption and Healing

(Sexual Past and Sexual Brokenness)

7. The sermon included a powerful statement: "You are not what you did. You're not what someone did with you or to you." Which half of that statement do you think is harder for people to believe — and why?

[Leader Tip]: This question gently opens the door for people who carry shame from their own choices and for those who carry pain from what was done to them. You don't need to push anyone to share personal details. Simply affirming both realities — sin we've committed and sin done against us — can be deeply freeing for people who've never heard both acknowledged in the same breath.

8. The Bible stories Pastor Craig referenced — David, Rahab, the woman caught in adultery — all involve people whose worst moments did not define them. Which of those stories resonates with you most, and what does it tell you about how God sees broken people?

Optional follow-up: What does it mean that Rahab is listed in the lineage of Jesus? What does that say about how God uses people?

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THEME D: Hearing God's Voice

(Discernment)

9. Pastor Craig gave three questions to help discern whether something is from God or from our own desires:

• Does it line up with God's Word?
• Does wise counsel confirm it?
• Does it make me more like Jesus?

Which of these three do you find easiest to apply in your own life? Which one do you tend to skip or struggle with — and why?

10. Pastor Craig said: "The best way to know the will of God is to know the Word of God." What's one honest barrier in your life right now that makes it difficult to spend regular time in Scripture?

[Leader Tip]: This question often surfaces practical, relatable answers — busy schedules, not knowing where to start, feeling like the Bible is hard to understand. Normalize the struggle. This is a great moment to briefly mention your church's Bible reading resources or encourage the group to explore scripture together.

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THEME E: The Big Question

(Who Gets the Final Word?)

11. At the close of the sermon, Pastor Craig said the real question underneath every question in this series was: "Who gets the final word in your life?" He then named fear as something that had been getting the final word in his own life. What's one area — it doesn't have to be dramatic — where something other than God has been getting the final word in your life lately?

[Leader Tip]: Pastor Craig modeled vulnerability here by naming his own fear. If the group is hesitant to share, you as the leader can go first with something genuine from your own life. Authenticity from the leader gives others permission to be honest.

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SECTION 4: PERSONAL APPLICATION

(10–15 minutes)

These questions are more reflective. You may want to give people 1–2 minutes of quiet to think before sharing, or invite people to journal their responses before discussing.

1. Looking back at the topics covered in this series — substance use, abortion, sexual brokenness, hearing God's voice — which one stirred something in you personally, even if you didn't say it out loud today? What do you sense God might be saying to you through that?

2. Is there a decision you're currently facing — big or small — where you haven't yet brought God's Word, wise counsel, or the question "Does this make me more like Jesus?" into the process? What would it look like to do that this week?

3. Pastor Craig ended the sermon with a moment of surrender — inviting people to name what's been getting the final word and lay it down. If you were honest with yourself right now, what would you name? What would it mean to hand that over to God?

4. The sermon emphasized that the church is meant to be a community that walks with people through hard things — not a place that just gives answers from a distance. Is there something you're carrying right now that you've been trying to handle alone? What would it look like to let this group in?

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SECTION 5: THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

(Share before closing prayer)

Choose one of the following — or encourage each person to pick the one that fits where they are:

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🔵 For Everyone: This week, identify one area where something other than God has been getting the final word. Write it down. Bring it to God in prayer each day this week and ask: "Lord, what does your Word say about this?"

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🟢 For Those Who Want to Go Deeper in Scripture: Choose one of the passages from today's guide and spend 10–15 minutes each day this week reading it in context (a few verses before and after). Ask God to show you something new.

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🟡 For Those in a Hard Season: If you're carrying something heavy — a pregnancy, a past, a decision, a wound — don't carry it alone this week. Reach out to one person in this group or a trusted friend and say: "I need someone to walk with me on this."

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🔴 For Those Who Made a Decision for Christ Today: If you prayed to surrender your life to Jesus for the first time (or to recommit), take the next step: fill out the You Said Yes form at your church and start the free 21-day devotional. Let someone in this group know so they can celebrate with you and check in.

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SECTION 6: PRAYER FOCUS

(5–10 minutes)

Close your time together in prayer. You can pray as a group, ask one person to lead, or use the prompts below to guide a time of open prayer.

Suggested Prayer Topics:

• Gratitude — Thank God for his Word, his grace, and his patience with us in our questions and our struggles.
• Surrender — Pray together that God would have the final word in every area of your lives — decisions, relationships, habits, fears.
• Those Who Are Hurting — Pray for anyone in your group (or in your life) who is carrying something heavy right now — an unexpected pregnancy, sexual brokenness, grief, or shame. Ask God to meet them with grace.
• Boldness in Community — Ask God to help your group be the kind of community that walks with people through hard things, not just around them.
• New Believers — If anyone in your group (or in your church community) made a decision for Christ recently, pray for them by name.

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[Leader Tip]: If your group isn't used to praying out loud together, you can simply pray yourself and give people a moment of silent prayer before you close. You can also invite people to share one word or phrase that represents what they want to bring to God tonight, then close in prayer over those words.

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SECTION 7: OPTIONAL DEEP DIVE

(For groups with extra time or who want to go further)

Bonus Question 1 — On Discernment: Read James 1:5 together: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Pastor Craig said that God is not playing hide-and-seek with his will. He's a relational God who speaks. How does this verse shape your confidence in asking God for direction? What does it mean that he gives wisdom "without finding fault" — especially for those of us who feel like we've made too many mistakes to deserve clear guidance?

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Bonus Question 2 — On Grace and Truth: Pastor Craig said Jesus came "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14) — and that we need both. Think about the topics covered in this series. Where do you see the church (broadly) tend to lean too heavily on truth without grace? Where do you see it lean too heavily on grace without truth? What does a healthy balance actually look like in real relationships and real conversations?

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Bonus Question 3 — On Making a Difference vs. Making a Point: Pastor Craig said: "There's a big difference between making a difference and just making a point." He talked about how he intentionally chooses when and how to speak on controversial topics so that people who disagree will still be willing to listen.

How do you apply that principle in your own conversations — with family members, coworkers, or friends who see things differently than you? What's one relationship in your life where you've been focused on making a point when you could be focused on making a difference?

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Related Scripture for Personal Study:

• On self-control: Galatians 5:22–23; 1 Peter 5:8; Ephesians 5:15–18
• On the sanctity of life: Jeremiah 1:5; Luke 1:41–44; Genesis 1:27
• On grace and forgiveness: Romans 5:8; Hebrews 8:12; Micah 7:19
• On sexual redemption: 1 Corinthians 6:18–20; 2 Corinthians 5:17; John 8:1–11
• On discerning God's voice: John 10:27; Proverbs 3:5–6; Romans 12:2

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If Someone in Your Group Needs Support:

• Encourage them to connect with a pastor or church counselor
• Remind them that the church prayer team is available
• Point them to the You Said Yes devotional if they made a decision for Christ
• Offer to follow up personally during the week — community matters

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"Who gets the final word in your life?" May it always be him.

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Next Week: The church is beginning a new series — First Things First. Encourage your group to invite someone who needs hope. As Pastor Craig said: "Whoever finds God finds life."

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This discussion guide was prepared for small group use. Feel free to adapt questions and timing to fit your group's needs. The goal isn't to cover everything — it's to help people encounter God and each other in an honest, grace-filled way.